Archive for February, 2006

Posted on Feb 18th, 2006

Have you ever tried to control other people? Who gets stressed out? Have you ever tried to control things or events over which you had no control? Do you find that stressful?

There are different typed of stressful situations. Some, like people interrupting you all the time, you can control. You can let the interrupters know you are busy and don’t have time to talk.

Other stresses, like rush hour traffic, are usually beyond your control. But there are some things about rush hour traffic that you can personally change which may help; taking a different route, for example, or traveling at a different time. Of course, these changes are not always possible. In that case, you have to change your attitude about the situation, in order to lessen the stress. You can listen to music or educational tapes or books-on-tape. Rush hour traffic won’t seem as frustrating because you’ll be doing something to help keep your mind off the traffic and other drivers. In order to let go of commute stress, you have to accept the situation. You must accept that you cannot control the traffic, no matter how much you yell and gesture at other drivers to speed up. A stressful commute can ruin your whole day, don’t let it! Accept that, if you are unable to change your route, or your time of travel, you are powerless over everything on the road, with the exception of your car and your attitude. Control your attitude, let go of the traffic, and you can control your stress!

You can learn to manage a great deal of your stress by asking looking at each stressor and asking yourself "Can I control it, can I change it, or do I need to learn to let it go?

The "control, change, or let go" concept is an important key to stress management. We spend too much time worrying about things over which we have no control that we have no energy left to control the things we can. We become so overwhelmed, that we feel like our whole life is out of control and we’ll never catch up. Once you understand the "control, change, or let go" concept and start putting it into practice you will be able to deal much better with stressful situations.

So much of our stress comes from trying to control other people, places and things when we simply cannot. We are the ones who end up with the stress and resulting headaches! The people we try to control go home, or simply ignore us, barely giving us a thought. That’s why it is so easy to build up resentments against other people in situations or jobs when we don’t think we have much control. On the job, it impedes productivity and healthy teamwork. People tend to blame other people. If you are stressed out because of others, it’s important to go through the steps of control, change and letting go. Unless you are ready to leave your job, family, or the planet earth, chances are you will continue working or being around the "stressful people." Ask yourself if the other person is actually a "stress carrier," or simply has a different style.

Letting go is a process. It takes time, and doesn’t always happen at once just because we will it. We have to use our thoughts to control our emotions and our actions. Remind yourself that there are people and events you cannot control. All you can control is your attitude and your reactions. Its possible to change yourself-talk about the situation. Identify which stresses you can control, take appropriate action, and learn to let go of the things you can’t.

Pick something in your life that stresses you out. Can you control it? If so, what can you do? Can you change it? If so, how? Perhaps you can only change or control a part of it. Do you need to let it go? If so, what can you do in order to let go?

You can view life as unexpected and exciting or your can view it as scary because you don’t know what the future holds. Take charge; take control or let it go. The choice is yours!

Simma Lieberman is a consultant, speaker and author. She works with organizations to create environments where people can do their best work. Contact Simma at (510)-527-0700 to discuss how she can help you and the people in your organization break the stress cycle and develop a more balanced life. Visit her website at and subscribe for free monthly newsletter.

Posted on Feb 18th, 2006

An effective way of promoting relaxation and reducing stress, is to regularly “escape” from the pressures in your life. You may have more opportunities to escape than you think.

Think of some daily or weekly event that you find unpleasant, an example may be mowing the lawn, commuting to work, or vacuuming the house. Situations like these usually don’t occupy our mind, so stressful thoughts of tomorrow’s work and the time we are wasting, can creep into our minds. Instead of allowing these circumstances to affect us negatively, use them as an opportunity to take a break and put your stressful day behind you. For some this may be as easy as listening to a recording that is either soothing, or allows you to “rock out” and escape. Some people may like to listen to books or comedy on tape (these are often available at your local library). Whatever you decide to use to help you escape, be prepared: have it with you in the car, for when you get stuck in traffic, go to the library on the weekend so you have a new book on tape to listen to when you mow the lawn. When you perform these activities, remove yourself from the situation and allow yourself totally escape. Recognize these situations as an opportunity to enjoy yourself and relax.

The Zen Buddhist principle of “mindfulness” is nearly the opposite of what is described above, but it provides another effective way of converting negative situations into positive ones. This technique involves keeping the mind completely absorbed by the current activity. Focus on your thoughts, sensations, movements, emotions… Mindfulness takes practice and concentration, but can bring great rewards. When done correctly, this practice can remove us from mundane, repetative, or unpleasant tasks, and transport us to a relaxing, introspective world.

Mark Altman is the webmaster of for sleep tips and free relaxing music, a website containing relaxing music, sleep-aids, stress reducing tools, relaxation advice, and an active discussion.

Posted on Feb 17th, 2006

Home relaxation has become increasingly necessary because more and more people are working from home. The biggest challenge with home relaxation is that your home is your office. What that means is that the dividing line between home and work can become hazy and you can very easily get caught up in work and neglect your other duties.

Home relaxation when incorporated into your day provides a way for you to enjoy the longevity and vibrancy of life.

Having a soak in the tub, cooking, gardening, watching TV or washing the dishes are all forms of home relaxation.

Home relaxation can be even more challenging if you have children. You will need to find the time to juggle your responsibilities as a father with your professional responsibilities. One way in which you can do this is to be focused. When you are focused you only do what is necessary at the moment.

If you are all over the map putting out fires, then you will be distracted.

Home relaxation helps you to find the time to focus when you get all caught up in work so that you can enjoy the longevity and the vibrancy of life.

Home relaxation in order to be effective needs to be one of your scheduled daily activities. This is possible in your busy day because of Ipods, portable CD players and lap top computers. It is now very easy to play relaxation CDs in your home. It is profoundly important that you follow a daily routine for home relaxation because you may not be aware of how long you have been working without taking a break.

A daily schedule for home relaxation ensures that you find more time to take a break, breathe and focus. This break prevents you from getting totally immersed in work at the expense of your health.

This home relaxation break allows you to have the time to enjoy the longevity and the vibrancy of life.

In conclusion:

Home relaxation especially for the work at home person is critically important because it is very easy to get lost in work when working from home. Home relaxation helps you find the time to take a break so that you can breathe and stay focused. If this break is taken on a daily basic you will have more time to enjoy the longevity and the vibrancy of your life.

Cecil McIntosh is a Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer and Energy worker specializing in providing a gifted teacher’s shortcut relaxation resources to his clients. For a free 7 day relaxation course visit this site now.

Posted on Feb 17th, 2006

We all go through rough times, bad spells, dead spots where the magic doesn’t seem to reach us. That’s normal. The thing is, it’s not good to stay in the lonely desert too long. We need to find a way back to our sacred space, our center, our secret garden, but how?

First You Need to Find Your Garden

You can create a sanctuary in your mind and heart. Listen and feel for what makes you calm and happy. Is it music? Dancing? Coffee? Coffee ice cream? Is it someone special? Someone who doesn’t even really exist? Would you feel safer imagining a protective angel or a hyper-protective gargoyle?

Use your intuition to call for an answer to your needs. Turn off the radio in your car and just drive. Shut off the TV and simply eat your dinner and your intuition will have a chance to help sort out your feelings and tell you what you need. When you begin to know, begin to imagine the place that pleases you and warms your heart.

Welcome to My Garden

My secret garden is a hidden valley, high in the mountains. There are acres of grass and deep, mysterious woods. I picture a bubbling spring, a giant swing and some very mean looking but protective gargoyles. They play rough because they are so rugged that nothing can hurt them, and they would never hurt me. In my garden, the trees are like the world’s most complete MP3 player; they can magically play every song ever written and most of the songs that will be written in the next thousand years. I’m never hungry, or weak, or cold and it is completely safe for me to sleep there. That’s what I see in my sacred space.

Make Your Garden Real

See it. Feel it. Smell it. Make your visualization real to you. Then practice going there when you are alone. Slowly, you will learn to call up the feeling of your secret garden even when you are in a crowded room, or feeling sad, or when you are afraid. Buy a piece of jewelry, like a pendant or ring, that reminds you of your sacred space and wear it when you go there in your imagination. Soon you will feel calmer just from seeing or touching that piece of jewelry.

Keep Your Garden Secret

I suggest that you don’t talk much about your sacred space. Just go there often. Spend a little time there every day. You may be surprised at the calm this practice brings to your life. Nice side benefits to this daily visualization practice include more vivid dreams, clearer thinking, better sense of direction and much improved visualization skills. Don’t let those powerful benefits slip through your fingers. Start creating your sacred space today.

About the Author

Rodney Robbins is a novelist and quality expert who knows well the need for rest and renewal. His first book is a young adult novel called "My Romantic Spell." It’s about a teen Witch growing up in modern Salem who does a spell to improve her mother’s love life. Robbins also has Celiac Disease (an auto-immune reaction to eating wheat and other grains) and Periodic Paralysis (a rare myopathy that leaves him weak or paralyzed at times). Go to to check out his magical blog, or surf over to and read "My Romantic Spell" on-line. The full length book preview may not be available much longer so check it out today!

Posted on Feb 16th, 2006

Stress affects everyone in this day and age. It occurs through living our lives day to day, through traffic on the freeway, our inability to pay a bill that is due, or through our body’s illness. It also affects people of all ages, from children, teenagers, adults and seniors. It seems no one is exempt from this present-day malady.

Stress today seems to come first from the psychological rather than from the physical areas of our lives. Since we no longer face the perils that we used to in our human history, such as dangerous animals or other matters that may have threatened our life, we now contend with a myriad of emotional upheavals such as learning how to get along with our in-laws or co-workers. Our bodies are still responding to stress in the same way they used to ages ago, with increased blood pressure and other responses that are automatically produced as a response to stress.

Other ways stress can enter our lives is through grief, being lonely and depressed. Stress can affect our body through our immune system, leaving us more susceptible to colds and other physical breakdowns.

It is worth the time and effort to learn how to deal with stress in our life. Stress management is a valuable tool that we can use. There are many ways we can combat stress. First of all, we need to try to find out what the cause of the stress may be by keeping a journal and writing down our thoughts when the opportunity arises in order to monitor our stress. Second, we can get our body moving in order to exercise our muscles. The stored energy in our body needs a way to release. Third, we can learn how to meditate with various techniques in order to relieve our brain. Fourth, we can learn ways of responding differently to others, such as assertiveness training.

Fifth, we can learn how to better manage our time so we can relieve our self-induced stress. Do not expect more from yourself than you are able to do. Analyze your schedule to see if you are expecting too much from yourself. Sixth, aromatherapy massage is becoming a popular way to combat stress in our life where we learn how to synergistically work through our body and our mind and emotions at the same time. Taking the time for ourselves is learning how to be responsible for ourselves and to keep ourselves free from stress. Seventh, if you feel yourself becoming too stressed out and you are feeling angry and out of control, take a time out. You can walk around the block, or the old adage of counting to ten, anything to focus your mind and body away from the stressor.

These remedies are just a few ways that we can relieve our stress from our lives. It is definitely worth it in order to have a more quality life as well as a longer life. The more we learn how to cope with the ever-present stress, the happier we will be.

Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Stress

Posted on Feb 16th, 2006

Feeling stress in the work place is a very common issue in many organisations both large and small. For workers, the result of such stress is reduced job satisfaction. In extreme cases this can degenerate further into physical and psychological symptoms such as muscular aches and pains, weakened immunity, irritability and depression to name a few. This ultimately leads to feeling burnt out. For the organisation, there is also an impact.

Firstly a worker that is suffering from stress and burn out will typically be quite unproductive because of absenteeism and/or less than satisfactory job performance. The impact on the organisation will also vary depending on the type of role the worker engages in. For example a stressed out salesman who develops a detachment towards clients can potentially affect the public perception of the organisation. Similarly a stressed out worker involved in producing goods will not produce anywhere near his/her optimal output. There can also be an indirect impact on other fellow co-workers due to lower morale.

Before one can look at how to deal with work place stress, it is important to look at the various sources of such stress. Stress will be either due to personal reasons or because of workplace issues. Personal stress can include anything unrelated to the actual workplace such as relationship issues, family conflicts, financial concerns etc. Workplace stresses will be based on either the nature of the job itself or the nature of the organisation or both. The job itself may be too much of a load for the one person due to either lack of resources (people and equipment) or time. There may be some form of ambiguity as to what the actual role of the job is exactly. From an organisational perspective, there may be simply low morale due to downsizing and cost cutting. The management of the organization may also be perceived as not treating their workers fairly. Or perhaps the actual conditions of the workplace are below an acceptable standard.

Because workplace stress can be either personal or organisational, addressing and managing this stress will require a proactive approach from two angles. Personally, there is a lot one can do ensure that he/she is feeling content and happy including getting regular rest, exercising, eating well and even seeking professional help if necessary. If the stress is due to the nature of the role or organisation, then the worker must speak to the relevant authority, i.e. the manager or other individual, to discuss the concerns. If discussing this does not solve the issue, perhaps it is time to move on – there may simply be not a good fit between the individual and the job, or the individual and the company.

Finally the organisation can also be quite proactive in minimizing the workplace stress felt by its workers. Roles can be redesigned to fit the individuals. Appropriate training or change management programs can be put into place to support the workers. The HR division within the company may also need to look at better strategies for recruiting the right people. For large organisations, stress management and wellness programs can also be introduced. The organisation has a lot to gain by implementing one or more of the above suggestions - increased morale, decreased absence, decreased turnover, increased performance and productivity, and ultimately growing profits.

David Tomaselli is the creator of Stress Management and Self Improvement Techniques – The Wholistic Development Exchange. The aim of the Wholistic Development Exchange is to empower you to deal with stress, pressure and the day to day challenges that life brings by providing you the latest Tips, Techniques, Articles, News, E-Books, Products and other Resources related to Stress Management and Self Improvement. To download free E-Books go to our Free Stress Management E-Books section. To find out how to create an Extra Hour in your Day, have a read of our NEW seven part Time Creation Tips series.

Posted on Feb 15th, 2006

What is emotional resilience? Well pure and simple it is about one’s ability to steer clear of taking a situation personally.

What does it mean then to take something personally? Well it relates to old buried emotions being triggered by whatever is happening in the present. When triggered they can be unleashed into the person’s awareness automatically and can leave them feeling overwhelmed, confused, out of control and vulnerable.

The triggering stimulus sets off what I have termed "old emotional landmines" from past traumatic incidents that resemble it in some way. These traumatic memories, if not dealt with appropriately when they occur tend to become submerged and therefore unconscious.

This happens largely because they are often associated with unpleasant emotions i.e. sadness, shame, helplessness, emptiness etc. which the person cannot tolerate. So, out of fear of feeling such feelings, they become "walled off" from the person’s awareness and hence unconscious.

This however does not mean that they go away. In fact while giving the individual the impression that they are gone they are actually lurking within, ready to "go off" with their full force and intensity whenever triggered to do so.

It is my view that the reason there is an unconscious mind at all is because most individuals need to hide there their emotional landmines. The unconscious is indeed the repository of such old negative experiences. Unfortunately however a great deal of one’s vital life energy is needed to keep it in place. Energy that is meant for life and living not for keeping emotional suffering at bay.

It has also been my experience that many individuals fear what is stored there and that they tend to engage many addictive behaviors (i.e. drugs, alcohol, over work, sex, computer games, etc.) to try and distract themselves from ever feeling the depth of such old emotions. The belief being that by distracting one’s self that one will have a greater sense of inner peace and self control.

By doing so they ironically only remain vulnerable to becoming out of control whenever the next triggering emotional stimulus happens to come their way. To drive this home just imagine yourself carrying several live hand grenades in your back pocket while at the same time choosing to believe that they are not there. Is this feeling peaceful for you? Do you feel like your life is in your control? Hardly!

So it is interesting when individuals find themselves continuing to avoid addressing these hidden emotional landmines.

Until recently most modalities i.e. psychotherapies and the like have promulgated the idea that one needs to re-experience the past and attempt to understand it in some new way in order to defuse these landmines.

It has been my experience over the last 20 years that such approaches not only do not work they also retraumatize the individuals who attempt this route, much like a hand grenade going off while you are trying to defuse it. This process is called "abreaction" by many therapists.

These is now a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP) that helps one release permanently, simply and painlessly such old emotional landmines.

This is all done over the telephone and allows individuals to experience a greater sense of personal resilience than they have ever known before. To learn more kindly visit the web link below.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Web Site:

Posted on Feb 15th, 2006

Developing a balanced life style is a very proactive approach to managing and reducing the stress in your life. As opposed to concentrating on one or two areas of your life, a balanced life style means focusing on all aspects of your life, including you work/studies, your family and relationships, your social life, your interests, your spiritual needs and most importantly yourself. Typically, you will find the happiest people are those that have been able to achieve such a balance.

Sometimes a certain area of your life requires more attention than other areas. Examples of this include students studying for their exams or employees of a company working towards delivering a project. In such cases the attention may be required for a specific period of time in order to achieve the desired outcome. However focusing on the one area for prolonged periods of time can be detrimental to ones mental health. In the case mentioned above, prolonged periods of work with little rest or play will result in a loss of productivity and lead ultimately to burn out if not managed carefully. Another common example is mothers that are totally devoted to their family. While their compassionate efforts are extremely commendable, they too run the risk of burn out or even worse, a distinct feeling of something missing in their lives. What ever the case may be, it is important to maintain balance.

Here are some ways to help balance your life:

  • Rest – Take regular vacations. During stressful times, make sure you are getting enough sleep.
  • Relaxation – Take time out to relax and unwind. This might be as simple as watching TV or reading a book.
  • Family and friends – Spend time with your loved ones. After all these are the people that matter most to you.
  • Interests – Follow your interests or get involved in a hobby.
  • Diet and Exercise – Eat well and get regular exercise.
  • Spiritual needs – Everyone needs some form of spiritual enrichment, whether it is through religion or meditation.
  • Work – Working in the right job or engaging in some community related activity can be a means of personal fulfilment.

Finally, take time to regularly review and reflect on how things are going in your life. If you are finding that you never have enough time to do things, you are low on energy, you are feeling stressed or simply unhappy, ask yourself, “Is what I am doing excessive?” “Am I starting to neglect other areas of my life?”

Anything in excess is unhealthy. Moderation is the key.

David Tomaselli is the creator of Stress Management and Self Improvement Techniques – The Wholistic Development Exchange. The aim of the Wholistic Development Exchange is to empower you to deal with stress, pressure and the day to day challenges that life brings by providing you the latest Tips, Techniques, Articles, News, E-Books, Products and other Resources related to Stress Management and Self Improvement. To download free E-Books go to our Free Stress Management E-Books Section. To find out how to create an Extra Hour in your Day, have a read of our NEW seven part Time Creation Tips series.

Posted on Feb 14th, 2006

Stress is a part of everyone’s life. People become stressed over different things and have different reactions to stress. Some people cope with stress in better ways than others. Some may do yoga, exercise, play video games, or listen to music, while others deal with stress by being angry, and getting even more stressed.

One excellent way to relieve stress is making use of stress balls. For those who may not have the time to work out, or who have horrible reactions to stress, squeezing a stress ball can be the perfect solution.

Stress balls come in different shapes and sizes, but all have the same effect of stress relief. Many health organizations and fitness centers recommend the use of stress balls in order to relieve stress. Stress balls are composed of a high-density foam, squeezable polyurethane, or soft rubber. These balls can be filled with gel and decorated in a wide variety of ways with a variety of colors and textures.

Stress balls are not only useful to people dealing with stress, but can also help arthritic people and people suffering from nerve disorders. Squeezing the stress ball increases blood circulation to the hands, and therefore can help arthritis, and even re-energize tired hands.

Stress balls can also be used to rejuvenate people who are tired from the long day. They are usable by any age group (you only need to be old enough to hold it and squeeze), and have no side effects. Using a stress ball on a regular basis can help one to live a healthier and happier life.

People today are stressed more than ever. Job demands are high, and so are family demands. In today’s ever-bustling world, the people who will live happier lives are those who have great methods of dealing with stress. Stress balls can help anyone deal with great amounts of pressure. The war on stress is tough to win, but with the aid of stress balls, the battle will be short and sweet.

John Hanksworth recommends for stress balls.

Posted on Feb 14th, 2006

Financial worries can add to the stress levels of individuals. For many families it can become one of the biggest sources of disagreements and tension. The most common financial concern is that the money coming in never ever seems to match the money going out. The most obvious way to address this is by taking control of your finances. This is easier said than done.

An important thing to remember about financial concerns is that it should be resolved before it becomes severe. The longer you procrastinate over resolving the issue, the worse it becomes, and the more stressed you become. Another important element is acknowledging that controlling your finances is more than simply just getting control of your money. It involves changing your habits both in your thinking and spending, as well as your short and long term financial goals.

Financial management and control revolves around one very basic concept: Spend Less, Save More. Start spending less by setting up a family budget, that is, agree on a figure that you will not spend over for a specific period say per week or month. To track how you are going, keep a record of all your expenditure items. As a receipt comes in log it. You may even decide to categorize it so you know where it came from, for example, Groceries, Insurance and Rates, Dining and Entertainment, etc. The use of a spreadsheet package such MS Excel is a very useful tool that can help maintain a list of items you have spent as well as compute on the fly your current expenditure total for the month. By keeping track of what you are spending money on, you will be able to assess areas that need improvement and examine ways to save money on the items purchased.

A financial budget is just the first step to controlling your finances. Other things to consider include changing your lifestyle. For example you may reduce the times you go out to dinner, save on petrol by car pooling or take cheaper vacations. Also stop purchasing big ticket items that are rarely used, such as things for hobbies that you have not taken up or expensive toys that are never used. It is important to review your lifestyle to assess whether it is within your earning potential.

Set short and long term goals that work towards decreasing your debt. Put aside a specific amount each month towards reducing your loans, not just paying the minimum amount each month but adding enough to make a significant debt reduction over a year.

Finally it actually helps if you look at a bad financial situation as a war. It is you and your family against the debt. You must work together as a team, communicating, planning and analysing your ongoing financial situation. In severe cases, it might be helpful to engage the services of a financial consultant. What ever you do and however you tackle the problem, the most important thing to remember is to work together.

David Tomaselli is the creator of Stress Management and Self Improvement Techniques – The Wholistic Development Exchange. The aim of the Wholistic Development Exchange is to empower you to deal with stress, pressure and the day to day challenges that life brings by providing you the latest Tips, Techniques, Articles, News, E-Books, Products and other Resources related to Stress Management and Self Improvement. To download free E-Books go to our Free Stress Management E-Books section. To find out how to create an Extra Hour in your Day, have a read of our NEW seven part Time Creation Tips series.

« Prev - Next »