Archive for June, 2006

Posted on Jun 25th, 2006

There are two stresses in your life, which if you change can improve your health, energy, stress levels and longevity.

They are very easy to change. It is just a matter of knowing what your two biggest stresses are.

Firstly, defining stress helps you understand why these stresses are so important. Stress is …

.“anything you expend energy on”

Yes, simple as that. Stress is any task you expend energy on. There is good stress and bad stress. All stress requires energy to deal with it.

The biggest stresses use up more energy. Energy that must come from somewhere. Energy that depletes functions in the body, which can lead to poor health, low energy levels and a shorter life span.

If these two stresses are not dealt with, you are losing energy faster than you should. Energy that is used to support your body and allow you to live longer.

Changing these stresses, returns energy to you. This in turn will improve your health, day to day energy levels, help you deal with other stresses easier, and allow you to live longer and happier.

So by now you may be wondering, “what is the biggest stress in my life?” It is an area that you seldom think about. It is a stress that is around you all day and every day. It is a stress that adults believe they deal with, yet children know they can’t.

It is a stress that takes more energy from you and with time will create poor health, bend you spine and even cause you to lose height as you age. Yes, one of the biggest stresses in your life is ….

Gravity.

Gravity requires you to use energy. Try floating in the air for example. Every part of the day where you sit or stand, you are fighting gravity. The problem is… gravity is winning.

If you only sit or stand when you have to, and lie down every other time. You will notice you suddenly have a few extra hours in the day where you can lie down.

Laying down means no energy is spent on gravity. Energy that fills your reserve tank, to help your health, day to day energy, helps you fight other stresses. Less gravity stress means less degeneration to joints, less shrinking with time, less pressure on your organs.

Try lying down more regularly. Watch children, they lie down all the time and have a plentiful supply of energy. They also deal with stress better mostly. You don’t have to sleep, just lie down to
… read
… listen to music
… watch television
… or just relax.

You can do it on the floor, couch or outside on the grass.

Very simple, just – “only sit or stand if you have to”.

The energy you will gain will surprise you. You will be astounded at hoe much better you feel (totally – health, stress, energy, happiness) at the end of the day and week. In the weekends you will feel better, lighter and happier. Work becomes less stressful and your enthusiasm and motivation will increase.

Gravity is one of the two biggest stresses. Easy to change, simple to do. You may now be wondering what the other stress is? If gravity is one stress you didn’t think of then the other stress is also just as baffling.

In part 2, the second of the two major stresses will be unveiled.

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Through his many teaching seminars and extensive professional knowledge, he has now released two new e-books on the many simple and effective ways to be healthy and stress free.

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Posted on Jun 25th, 2006

Stress Vs Pressure

Stress is something we all have, it’s not going away, it’s a sign we are alive. The question is in how you handle it. Pressure, on the other hand, is what we tell ourselves about the stress in our lives. It’s a self-induced, inside job.

Have To Vs Get To

To understand what I am getting at here, just pay attention to how many times a day you catch yourself thinking or saying “I have to………”. If you are like most folks, you’ll notice you say this more often than you realized. Have to implies resistance, obligation, drudgery, etc. It’s simply a motivation reducer. Get to, on the other hand, brings with it excitement, desire, and perhaps even fun.

Privilege Vs Burden

I think it’s human nature to turn some of our privileges into burdens. When we see events or tasks in our life as burdens, we get weighed down. Another sign of the burden view is feeling worn out and overwhelmed, all the time. When we view events and tasks in our life as privileges, we bring a much stronger attitude to our daily lives. When you view something you are doing as a privilege, you can then approach them with a sense of honor. That’s a motivator.

Passion vs Dread

Think of a time you dreaded doing something? It’s not a lot of fun, is it?. Now think about a time you were really passionate about doing something. Maybe even just excited about getting it done. Which did you like better?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Jun 24th, 2006

I have previously written:

I absolutely g-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e that if you focus on your dream – THAT YOU REALLY FOCUS ON YOUR DREAM, that you believe in your dream – THAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAM with total confidence – that you be committed to your dream – THAT YOU REALLY BE COMMITTED TO YOUR DREAM – that if you do all this, YOU WILL EMPOWER YOUR DREAM.

What exactly did I mean by “focus”? What is focusing all about? Why is being focused so powerful? Baseball gives us many examples of the importance of being focused. One of those many examples is Hall of Famer Steve Carlton.

Steve Carlton, for those of you who are unaware of his identity, was a pitcher who spent most of his 24-year career with the Philadelphia Phillies. In 1972, Steve was traded from the St. Louis Cardinals to the Phillies and proceeded to win 27 games for the hapless last place Phillies, which total by Carlton accounted for almost half of the hapless Phillies grand total 59 victories. That year, he won the National League’s Cy Young Award, which is baseball’s award for the league’s best pitcher. Steve Carlton proceeded to spend the off-season that year on the banquet tour and making endorsements and granting interviews, etc., etc. The 1973 season saw a reversal for the lefty pitcher. He went from 27 wins to 20 losses! His ERA shot up! What happened? Steve Carlton, in his own words, “lost” his “focus”. He failed to concentrate on his job, which was pitching baseballs and winning games.

In retrospect, though, 1973 turned out to be a blessing for Steve. He went to work on his attitude. He decided that worrying about the reporters and the endorsements were a distraction to his job. They were a distraction to his career and if he permitted them to continue, these distractions would divert him from the task at hand and ultimately reduce him to mediocrity. So, instead, he focused only on his physical conditioning and baseball. He shunned the distracting reporters and the meaningless banquets. The reporters tended to brand him as aloof, as a selfish player who refused to talk with them. Fans cheered his pitching but they didn’t take to him personally, as he stayed away from most autograph opportunities and speaking engagements. Steve Carlton, however, knew the secret. He knew that his mind needed to be focused on pitching if he was to achieve the pitching success he wanted, if he was going to be able to Empower His Dream.

Did Steve Carlton EMPOWER HIS DREAM? Judge for yourself. After that disastrous ’73 season, Steve Carlton proceeded over the next 14 seasons to amass a total lifetime victory count of 329, a total of 4,136 career strikeouts (most ever by a left handed pitcher), 2nd lifetime only to the legendary Nolan Ryan. He became the 1st pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball to win 4 CY Young Awards. In his first year of eligibility, Steve Carlton was voted into Baseball’s Hall of Fame. Steve Carlton EMPOWERED HIS DREAM by concentrating his focus on his dream.

That is what focus is about. It is a mind set on your dream. According to the well known motivational speaker and late night TV infomercial star, Anthony Robbins, 80% of success is figuring out why to succeed, of directing your focus. Robbins asserts that the “how” to succeed, the actual tasks, are only 20% of the equation. That’s what Steve Carlton learned and that’s what each one of us needs to understand and employ. Discard the distractions. Put them aside. Decide ahead of time what your desired result is and keep THAT as the only element in your mind. The “how” will come. Don’t worry about the “how”. The “how” is unimportant. The actual steps to the realization of your dream will emerge on their own if your focus is on your dream and nowhere else. Missouri is known as the “Show Me State”. Talk to a Missourian and they will tell you to show them first, and then they will believe. I dare to say that show me first is a formula for defeat. Show me first is a formula for losing.

Believe and then it WILL happen. BELIEF comes first. And, belief is developed through focus. Steve Carlton’s team mate on the World Champion 1980 Phillies, Tug McGraw, coined a phrase for the 1973 National League Pennant Winning New York Mets, “Ya gotta believe!” Tug McGraw didn’t say, “Let’s win and then we’ll believe.” Tug said, “Ya Gotta Believe!” In other words, he instructed the Mets fans, and later the Phillies fans, focus on the winning and we will win! Ya Gotta Believe was and is more than a slogan. Ya Gotta Believe is a way of life. And the belief I am talking about is not a hope. It is not a “I wanna.” The belief I am talking about is a true and committed belief that there is absolutely no way that your dream will not be realized. The belief I am talking about is a true and committed belief that your dream IS reality!

Do you want to empower your dream? If you answered yes, then you must focus on that dream and understand that no other reality exists. You set your eyes and mind on that dream and the reality of that dream and allow absolutely nothing to distract you from the physical realization of your reality. That is focus. And “focus” will EMPOWER YOUR DREAM!

© Copyright 2003. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: J. Kevin King, J.D. is a Personal Life and Business Coach, and the Founder and CEO of The Empowerment System Network, which publishes the very unique weekly Success & Motivational ezine Empower Your Dream. Kevin has over 30 years experience in business and personal coaching. http://empower-your-dream.com
http://iattracteverythingiwant.com/
http://www.empower-your-dream.com/esn/mall.html

E-Mail – JKKingJD@stressmanagementarticles.com

You may reprint this article in its entirety with the above ABOUT THE AUTHOR included.

Posted on Jun 24th, 2006

The Mask of “I’ve Got It All Together”

It’s so easy to put this mask on, and then forget you are wearing it. We want to look to the outside world as if everything is fine, we’ve got it all handled, no problems, thank you very much.

This one weighs alot, and is very heavy to carry around. Even worse, it makes it very hard to ask for help, which leads to the next mask………….

The Mask of “I Don’t Need Anyone”

Simon and Garfunkel sang “I am a rock, I am an island.” So American culture, and so wrong. While it’s good to stand on your own two feet, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and all other applicable clichés, when taken to an extreme, it can be very isolating. While being independent is a worthy goal, we all need someone to lean on. The curious thing is, most people really like to help when asked.

The Mask of Perfectionism

Another very seductive mask because it makes us look so good. Too bad it’s not only false, it’s also not attainable. So many people strive for perfection as a way to feel good about themselves. A good move here is to trade in perfectionism for excellence, which is attainable, and a whole lot more fun.

The Mask of Busy-ness

Somehow, busy-ness has become associated with importance. If we are always busy, then we must be important. Unfortunately, busy-ness binds us to many things that might be good and worthwhile, while we miss the things that are the very best.

The Mask of Knowing It All

In the world of “difficult people”, these folks are known as IEOE’s, Instant Experts On Everything. This mask is typically accompanied by a burning desire to beat people over the head with their important knowledge. The really sad thing is these folks tend to be very unteachable, and therefore never actually learn anything.

The Mask of “Impression Management"

While similar to the I’ve Got It All Together mask, it differs in at least one important way. It’s much more exhausting. It’s hard to put down the worry about what everyone else thinks, and the need to control the impression you make on each and every person.

The goal of most masks is protection. In many cases it is not needed. Or if it was once needed, that time has passed. Taking off these masks involves risk. It’s useful to begin by peeking out from behind the masks a little bit at a time, and then watch what happens. Most folks find that it’s much safer out there than they thought, and it’s a whole lot easier than lugging around all those heavy masks.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Jun 23rd, 2006

You know something’s gotta change.

You feel stuck, like nothing’s budging, even when you know you have to change. You even want it to change, for goodness sake - but that doesn’t make it change.

(Got something in your life like this? A habit, a vice, a pattern, a relationship, a way you work, a way you eat, anything? Thought so.)

It’s not that you don’t understand the problem - you do. It’s not that you don’t see how your thinking has been off - you do. It’s not that you don’t see the solution, and how much sense it makes - you do.

Even though it makes perfect sense to follow the logical course of action, you don’t.

Are you dense? Of course not. Because there have been plenty of times that you’ve been helped to see the reasoning and logic of a situation, and you made the shift you needed to make. This just isn’t one of those times.

So why haven’t you changed? Simple - it’s because despite the logic, it just doesn’t feel right to surrender it yet. And no formula, process, or checklist is going to override that feeling.

So how do you change the feeling? You don’t. Because you can’t change how you feel about something as easily as you change your socks. But, how you feel about the situation may change on its own once your needs are being met.

Needs? What’s this got to do with needs? Everything, beloved. When your needs are being met, you are in a greater space of trust, and therefore, choice. When you feel as if your needs are not being met, your trust that "it’ll all work out" gets tossed out the window, and your sense of the options available to you starts to shrink.

If you feel as if your needs aren’t being met, even the most logical steps can’t be taken.

So, what is it that you need? Sometimes, it’s to feel heard. Or held. Or seen. Maybe your needs for safety, appreciation, freedom, respect, aren’t being met.

Example: I recently had the opportunity to work with someone who felt incredibly stuck in her situation. Someone tried to help her change by showing her where her thought process was faulty, and how she was stuck in her interpretation of the situation. Didn’t help. In fact, all it did was piss her off, and make her feel even more isolated.

When I sat down with her, I didn’t know what to do right away. But it soon became clear that it wasn’t about logic, and it wasn’t about choice. She was afraid, bottom line. And the only thing that was going to penetrate that wall of fear… was love.

When we saw that what she needed was to be held, it was like lightning - all of her pain broke open, and for the first time in a long time, she could feel the presence of God holding her. At that point, I didn’t have to help her shift anything - she felt the love and compassion she needed, and her "stuck-ness" softened immediately. From that point, new possibilities emerged, and she felt refreshed and hopeful again.

So how do you find (and get) what you need?

1) Feel where you are at. Frustration and all. It all starts by being honest with yourself about what you are feeling.

2) Set aside logic. If you could have figured your way through this already, you would have. And if you aren’t feeling as if your needs are being met, even the most straightforward solution will feel inaccessible. So for now, set aside sense-making and reasonable thinking.

3) Feel the No. (That one wasn’t hard, was it?) Now, engage it. Listen to it. Feel what it wants, what it believes is real, and what it says is going to happen if you go through with the change. The idea is get clear on what you need (or, what you feel is missing) in this situation.

4) Trust your instincts. Yes, you’ve got concerns. But you’ve also got a sincere yearning for Truth, Love, and all the things you know deep inside are waiting for you on the other side of this issue. This is the time to trust those instincts and value your needs. Then,

5) Connect to your heart. Tap into your connection to the Divine, using a practice called the Remembrance (repeating the name of God/The Divine/Spirit - however you relate to it, whatever name you use for it). As you feel your heart expand, let yourself receive whatever The Divine brings you around your needs.

The more you sit in your Remembrance and Divine connection, the more you’ll feel the Holy Answer to your request. Where before you were feeling as if your need wasn’t being/couldn’t be met, you’ve got some new Information now, and it’s streaming into your heart.

— A Word on Needs: Often times when you first connect with your needs, it seems as if what you are needing is something that you need from the world (another person, a situation, an environment, etc.). While that "outside" thing can become a part of the solution, as long as you think that your needs are being met by him/her/it, you’ll never find true certainty - because the thing you come to rely on is ephemeral, fleeting, and may disappear at some point.

If you see The Divine as the Source of getting your needs met, you’ll never be in lack again - because that Source can never run dry, is with you always, and can be accessed in an instant, through the connection in your heart.

(In the example I gave above, I didn’t hold my client physically; she got her holding from the presence of God. She later told me that physical touch does help her go inside, and yet it’s the God-connection that she knows does the trick.)

So if you find yourself seeking from the "outside", keep going, keep looking, and find the place of your true "need-i-ness" with The Divine. —

Now that change doesn’t feel impossible, see what this time of rebirth has come to offer you. From this place of connection, new possibilities can emerge. You may feel inspired to form a local support group, get involved in your community, create a Mastermind group to take your business forward, or devote time and energy to a relationship that needs it.

Maybe your needs for fun and excitement are the next ones to be fulfilled!

©2006 Adam Kayce. All Rights Reserved.

Want to cross the bridge between where you are now and where you want to be? Want to go where can you find simple, yet sublime ideas, on spirituality, personal development, happiness, fulfillment, healing, and living the life you want? Head over to http://www.adamkayce.com today and see how good life can be.

Posted on Jun 23rd, 2006

Over the years I’ve collected scores of comics and cartoons about marriage, families, stress and change. There is just something about a good comic strip that can many times explain something much better than I can.

One of my all time favorite strips in the “Family Circus” - and not just because the little boy’s name is Jeff. It’s also because it realistically captures many of the struggles of day to day living.

A few years back, I cut out a Family Circus that had just two scenes in it.

The first scene shows the two parents, huddled attentively in front of the TV, watching an older and obviously learned gentleman lecturing on The Fundamentals of Having Fun, if you can believe such a title.

The second scene simply shows the kids out in the yard - running, playing, swinging, playing chase, and basically Having Fun!

Now, can someone please explain to me how it is that we go from being kids who naturally know how to have fun to being adults that have to watch a TV program in order to learn how to have fun?

Exactly what has happened to us?

What I notice with more and more frequency, both in my practice and in my seminars, is that many “grown-ups” have somehow forgotten how to do at least two very important things in life: how to rest and how to have fun.

We’ll save how to rest for another time. Today we will tackle a very simple exercise on how to have fun.

Four Simple Steps to Remembering How to Have Fun

Step 1 - Write down 5 -10 things that you like to do for fun. They can be small, just a few minute things or larger more time consuming activities, and everything in between. If you can’t think of at least five things you like to do for fun, call me, we need to talk………….

Step 2 - Looking at your list, do the following:

put a “D” next to each thing you have done in the last day/24 hours

put a “W” next to each thing you have done in the last week

put an “M” next to each thing you have done in the last month

put a 6 next to each thing you have done in the last 6 months, and finally

put a 1 next to each thing you have done in the last year

Step 3 - Review your list. If you find you have lots of D’s and W’s, good for you! If you are like most folks however, you will find you have many more 1’s, 6’s and M’s than you might have expected. That’s the purpose of this little check-up, to give you a bit of a wake up call. Now on to step four and what you can do about this…………

Step 4 - Choose just one activity from your list that you can commit to doing in the next week. Make the decision to do this activity NO MATTER WHAT!

We tend to make things so difficult, when really this can be quite simple.

Then the next week, choose something else from your list and do that one. And so on and so on. In this way, you get 100% improvement each week.

Not bad, huh?

Now if you really want to be radical, you could do one thing from your list everyday.

But that might be too much fun………………

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Jun 22nd, 2006

Stress and anxiety go hand in hand. It is said that one of the major symptoms of stress is anxiety. Aside from that, it is stress that is commonly blamed for a staggering eighty percent of all illnesses either directly or indirectly.

Stress comes from the pressures we feel in life, as we are pushed by work or any other task that puts undue pressure on our minds and body, adrenaline is released, extended stay of the hormone causes depression, a rise in the blood pressure and other negative changes and effects.

One of them is anxiety. With anxiety, fear overcomes all emotions accompanied by worry and apprehension, making a person a recluse and a bagful of jitters. Other symptoms are chest pains, dizziness, and shortness of breath and panic attacks.

When this happens to us, we are endangering our overall health. Stress and anxiety affects many factors in our body not only in our mental state. Cancer and other deadly diseases are related to stress and anxiety because of the changes in the chemical composition in our body due to stress and anxiety.

You don’t have to be a victim of stress and anxiety, its just all about discipline and having a proper schedule. Not taking in anything you cannot handle will be a lot of help. Learn your limitations and stick to it. Do not over exert yourself. Just try to go over the border an inch at a time.

You can lead a productive successful and fulfilling life and career without the need to endanger your health. If not, you are not only killing yourself, you are also sending your family and friends and all the people around you away.

Article written by Hector Milla, editor of http://www.mydepressionsymptoms.com/ , they have recently published a free online guide :: Eliminate Stress and Anxiety :: , you may learn about mental health at http://www.mydepressionsymptoms.com/eliminate-stress-anxiety/ , thanks for publish this article in your website or ezine keeping a live link.

Posted on Jun 22nd, 2006

One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.

We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn’t know Lauren had used it just a moment before.

I’ve never dropped anything so fast before or since!

Most of you are probably a whole lot smarter than me and have never picked up a hot iron. At the same time, I bet everyone has had the experience of picking up something hot, getting burned, and dropping it right away.

Would it make any sense to keep holding something hot like that? Of course not.

That’s why we drop them so quickly.

Then why do we hold on so tightly to hot emotional issues and allow them to keep burning us?

Yet we do it all the time. Something inconvenient, bad, or even traumatic occurs, and we hold on to it for dear life. I’ve worked with people who had experienced trauma and were doing fairly well not too long after. I’ve also worked with people who had experienced trauma years and years ago, yet it seemed as if it had just happened.

How to Hold On

Holding on to something that is burning us requires a lot of conscious attention, just like flunking gym class in school. Here’s a few “tips” for holding on:

*Play the situation or offense over and over in your mind. Be sure to make a little “mental movie” for your own viewing pleasure.

*Make sure it’s the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.

*Tell everyone who will give you an ear the whole entire story, in play by play detail.

*Make it the defining moment in your life.

*Isolate yourself from other people

*Rant and rave about the injustice and unfairness of it all.

*Look at yourself as a victim.

How to Drop It

Just as holding on to something requires conscious attention, dropping something requires a conscious decision. Here’s a few tips for dropping it:

*as stated above, decide to. You must decide to do it before any ot the other tips will work.

*take away from it what you can learn, leave behind anything else.

*find a symbol of the event and burn it, bury it, or both. I know this might sound a little silly, but it works.

*remember the saying "Success comes from good judgement. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."

*and perhaps the most important: make a place for it in your life, because it did happen. And then put it in it’s place, which is behind you.

Hold on and get burned or drop it and move on. It’s a choice.

And it’s yours to make.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Jun 21st, 2006

You finally got your well-deserved promotion. After working years and years on proving your worth, having been recognized for your efforts and getting that sizeable increase is making all the hard work well worth it.

But then again you didn’t count on all the pressure the new job comes with. You suddenly notice that you’re always tired, irritable and hardly gets any sleep, in other words you’re all stressed out. Managing an office is not a simple task, as it seems. The responsibilities that can come with the job can be quite tremendous and for lesser people a breakdown is not uncommon. Management stress is a common occurrence with upper management.

Keeping Away from Management Stress

So as to not succumb to management stress, a person must be able to discipline him or herself. Have a proper work, rest and play schedule. Keeping yourself organized won’t let you get stressed out.

Know your responsibilities and organize them according to their priority. Bering able to effectively divide the work is a sign of a true manager, which makes the workload light for everybody. Properly dividing responsibilities won’t provide pressure to a single person which will make production faster.

Set attainable goals. If you keep on promising numbers and figures that are hardly realistic would provide unnecessary pressure and would contribute a lot to the stress factor.

Get along with your employees. Avoid letting them exploit it though, you are still the boss, set certain ground rules and an invisible line wherein you can still be in a good boss-employee relationship and still get the respect you deserve.

Management stress should get the best of you. Learn and research well your new position and live a healthier and stress-free life.

Article written by Hector Milla, editor of http://www.depressionstreatments.com/ , they have recently published a free online guide :: Stress Management Techniques :: , you may learn different techniques about stress management at http://www.depressionstreatments.com/management-stress-techniques/ , thanks for publish this article in your website or ezine keeping a live link.

Posted on Jun 21st, 2006

File this one under the category of “watch your language.”

The language we use when we are trying to change something simply amazes me. We say things like I can’t - it’s not fair - I’ll never be able to do this - etc. And then we wonder why we are frustrated and don’t feel so good.

One of the most limiting things we say to ourselves is “I have to.” Our brains hear I have to and tend to automatically rebel.

Perhaps it’s a holdover from childhood.

A much more useful way to talk to ourselves is to change our “I have to” into “I get to.”

You might say that this is just semantics. I would answer by saying it’s almost all semantics.

Here’s why - “I have to” usually leads to little motivation, avoidance, and grudging obligation. On the other hand, “I get to” often leads to motivation, excitement and opportunity.

So let’s practice turning your I have to’s into I get to’s.

I have to take out the trash. I get to contribute to and serve my family.

I have to get up in the morning. I get to spend another day above ground and see what I can make of it.

I have to go to work. I get to go do something I love and provide for my family.

I have to go to class. I get to have the privilege of getting an education.

I have to pick up my kids from practice. I get to spend time with my children. In the car, which is a captive audience where we don’t have the pressure of just staring at each other. Maybe we will be able to talk.

I have to finish this project for the office. I get to contribute to something I believe in.

I have to go to the gym. I get to take care of my body and maybe even have some fun.

I have to finish this column and get it in on time. I get to have the privilege of helping (hopefully) more people.

These are just a few examples. Simply fill in the blanks with the ones from your own life which will be most helpful to you.

I invite you to practice watching your language this next week I think you will be surprised how often you use the phrase “I have to.”

Have to vs get to is your choice.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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