Archive for August, 2006

Posted on Aug 31st, 2006

Accidents and tragedies often happen to us when we are not expecting them. They are the unpleasant and even horrendous experiences of life. How can we deal with them when they happen and how can we prepare for them before they happen?

On Thursday 12th January 2006, I head butted a pile of chairs. I was pursuing a student with a fake knife to help him learn how to evade a knife attack. He evaded brilliantly.

As I missed him, I tripped and crashed to the ground falling heavily on my knees. My progress along the floor was stopped as I rammed my head into a pile of chairs.

Blood was dripping from my head to the ground and I felt as if I had been in a car crash.

My first thought, as a motivational writer, was: "What is good in this situation?!"

There was a lot. I still had my eyesight even though things appeared a little fuzzy and I still had intact knee caps. It was also the end of the lesson so no one could ask for their money back!

The scar that would be left on my head for a while would give me street cred as a martial arts instructor. When you are too old to look beautiful it is better to look tough.

The incident also gave me first hand experience of looking on the bright side. This viewpoint is always worth describing since so many humans have to face the dark side of life on a regular basis.

It is a commonplace that when you are in an accident or other stressful situation, you can relieve stress by considering the positives.

Crashing to the floor, will make me a better instructor. I will take better care of my students and make sure that they are not wearing the wrong footwear (as I stupidly was) and are not over committed (as I stupidly was).

I can also take the incident as a warning to be more careful in future in everything I do that involves risk. I will make sure I always wear a seat belt even for short car journeys. Accidents occur when you are not expecting them. The least you can do is be prepared for them.

I was moved by the support of my students. One insisted that he would take me to hospital. I told him I was fine and, in the end, I just drove myself home. I preferred an early night to hanging round in a chilly hospital full of dodgy bacteria.

Two of my black belt instructors phoned next day to check up on me and one of my more recent students emailed me to see if I was OK. Even her mum was concerned. Such support can definitely cheer you up in times of stress.

The incident allowed various talents to emerge. One of my students was a vet who did a great job of patching me up.

My sister commented on how cheerful I was after a good sleep. I would not have been so cheerful if there had been permanent damage to my eyes or knee caps.

It is easy to recover from an unpleasant incident where there is no permanent damage. Just realize the fact that things could have been much, much worse and take steps to avoid a repeat performance.

Being cheerful is not so easy if you suffer permanent damage but again the principle is the same. Look for the positives.

Many people are worse off than you or me. Christopher Reeve suddenly became worse off than billions when he fell off his horse. And even Christopher could have been worse off than he already was if he had suffered brain damage as well as paralysis and if he had not had the support of a loving family.

Money usually helps in any tough situation. One reason I have started an internet business in info publishing is to be able to help any member of my family if they need special treatment or care.

The old are too often treated with too little respect. If they have plenty of money in their old age, the respect is still there.

Having plenty of money cannot replace having good health but it can certainly alleviate your problems when you find yourself in a stressful situation.

Money is a great stress reliever! Being able to pay for any expensive drugs you might need can make a huge difference.

We need to make plenty of money while we are still able to. Even a minor accident can severely limit the power, focus and energy you need when you are trying to make money.

Age, too, can sneak up on us with unexpected health problems and increased stresses. Let’s focus on the best but also spend some time preparing for the worst.

Thorough preparation for the future is a great stress reliever and there is no time like the present to start preparing.

If you are not yet in a stressful situation, make sure you are ready for it if and when it comes.

Another way to deal with stress, even the worst kind, is to see the funny or unexpected side of it. Joan Rivers is famous for relieving stress by looking at the funny side of age, death and even suicide.

At a performance in England, she was almost in tears as she remembered the suicide of her husband and the way the news came first to her fifteen year old daughter, Melissa.

Melissa felt especially upset as she had been the last to speak to her father on the phone and had not realized what he was planning.

Joan felt she had ‘lost’ Melissa until they had a meal in a restaurant together. Joan daringly relieved her daughter’s stress by commenting:

"If daddy were alive and saw these prices he would kill himself all over again."

Melissa smiled for the first time since her father’s death.

Many people are currently stressed by the fear of bird ‘flu. Joan, typically, sees a benefit in this situation:

"Something wonderful has happened. We are all going to die from bird ‘flu, so we can eat what we like."

About the author

John Watson is an award winning teacher and fifth degree black belt martial arts instructor. He has recently written several books about achieving your goals and dreams.

They can be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a motivational message and books by other authors

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Posted on Aug 31st, 2006

There are times in every person’s life when things do not go according to the way we would like. All of us have our ups and downs. These can consist of periods of poor health, emotional problems, financial struggles, relationship challenges, accidents and the like.

Understand that these challenges are normal. We simply cannot exist in a "bubble of happiness" all of the time. It would be nice but life doesn’t work like that - for anyone.

When things seem to be going poorly, there are two basic options open to you:

  1. withdraw inside yourself and sink deeper and deeper into depression, probably weakening your ability to deal with future challenges.
  2. work through your troubles as best you can and try to emerge out the other side, probably making yourself stronger and wiser for the experience.

Robert Schuller, a famous clergyman and prolific author, wrote a book which he aptly titled: "Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do!" (ISBN: 0-553-24245-8). In his book, Schuller says: "Name your problem and you name your possibility." It is a book about faith and strength and hope. He encourages readers never to surrender.

When things go wrong, as they invariably do from time to time, try to "hang tough." Bad times always pass, eventually. You just need to see them through.

Like the light of day always follows the darkness of night, good times will be just around the corner for you.

[If you like this article and would like to use it on your own website or ezine you may do so ONLY if the article is not changed in any way and the final paragraph: "About the author", with all links intact, is included.]

About the author: Gary Simpson is the author of eight books covering a diverse range of subjects such as self esteem, affirmations, self defense, finance and much more. His articles appear all over the web. Gary’s email address is budo@stressmanagementarticles.com. Click here to go to his Motivation & Self Esteem for Success website where you can receive his "Zenspirational Thoughts" plus an immediate FREE copy of his highly acclaimed, life-changing e-book "The Power of Choice."

Posted on Aug 30th, 2006

Breathing is something we all do during our life time. We all know we are going to die if we are not breathing. Breathing is a reflex action done by our body to provide the flow of oxygen around the body to the vital organs.

Wikipedia, online encyclopedia, describes humans breathe between 12 and 20 times per minute, with children breathing faster than adults.

Babies may breathe as much as 40 times per minute. Adults normally breathe about 500-700ml of air at a time. An average 14 year old takes around 30,000 breaths per day.

However, we can control our breathing. We can be more relaxed by breathing in and out so deeply. The more we allow our body to be filled by deep breathing, the less stress we place on our body and mind.

The more we practice our deep and controlled breathing, the more natural it becomes and we can call on it at any time of day to help us through those tired or stressed out moments.

With all the problems we have — either we feel stressed out at work, or at the end of a long hard day and we can’t sleep, or if we just want a few minutes to our self — we will find this simple breathing exercise really beneficial.

Here are some steps to do breathing exercise:

1. You can lie down, sit down or stand up as long as you are comfortable. Breathe in slowly through your nose to the count of four. Breathe very deep until all your body feel expanded.

2. Hold on that deep breath for four counts, and then exhale slowly through mouth to a count of eight.

3. Repeat the breathing in – right down so your tummy expands. Hold on to it and then exhaling nine more times.

4. You can breathe deeper once you get used to the above steps by leave one hand on your stomach and place the other lightly across the chest. Breathe right down so your tummy expands

5. When it can’t go any further, breathe in some more and fill the tops of your lungs. Inhalations and exhalation are the same length, eight counts each, without holding in between.

6. When you exhales, let the old air out from your chest then from your tummy. So, you are going to be relaxed.

Riana C Lance writes about health in some publications. Twice a week she informs her health tips and knowledge in a newsletter. Subscribe to get your free twice a week newsletters so you can stay healthy for the rest of your life from http://Healthifica.com

Posted on Aug 30th, 2006

Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time, and another of accountants during tax season, have shown significant increases in cholesterol levels during stressful events – when there was little change in diet.

Interesting isn’t it!

Are you caught up in modern day life? Do you have a mix of crazy work deadlines, household responsibilities and family needs — perhaps car problems or some bills that need urgent payment? You need to be very careful: Medical researchers have now discovered a link between periods of severe stress and increased cholesterol levels.

That’s right: your hectic ‘stressful lifestyle’ might be boosting the levels of tiny fat particles in your bloodstream. That’s because during stressful times, chemical messengers are released that prepare your body for the fight-or-flight response. These hormonal changes can raise your total cholesterol.

But that’s not all. Stress can have a powerful, indirect effect on your cholesterol too. If you overeat, smoke, or turn into a couch potato in response to stress, you’re giving in to unhealthy lifestyle habits that can raise levels of LDL’s (bad cholesterol) and grind down levels of HDL’s (good cholesterol). Gaining weight, eating lots of foods high in saturated fats, smoking, and avoiding exercise can all bury healthy cholesterol.

In a recent study, 77% of individuals with high levels of stress were able to lower their blood pressure and cholesterol levels simply by training themselves to stay calm.

It is possible that a bit of stress can be helpful, BUT that depends on how a person reacts to stress. If stress leads to more eating, smoking, sitting, brooding and a more depressed mood - then stress may well be harmful. If it leads to more activity, walking, gardening, even fidgeting - that may be beneficial for your artery walls but not necessarily beneficial for you!

So, what do you do?

Well you really need to balance your overall cholesterol-lowering plan by learning to manage your hectic lifestyle.

Say "No"
Make it a priority to manage your time and emotions.
* Free up time for the activities that really matter
* Say no to burdensome requests.

Think before filling your stomach
* Are you really hungry?
* Or are you angry, lonely, tired, or frustrated?

Before you give in to emotional eating, try the following
* Wait a few minutes
* Try a piece of fruit first
* Take a short walk
* Call a friend
* Or–if you’re up late at night stressing over your crazy life…go to bed.

Treat Yourself
Get a massage; go for a swim…whatever relaxes your body.

Mingle
Make time for your family and friends.

Be Joyful
Look for the humor in life, and laugh out loud. Tell a joke, read a funny book

Relax
Set aside 10 minutes a day to close your eyes and focus gently on your breathing and on the positive things in your life

That Brings Us To Meditation!

Until recently, the primary purpose of meditation has been religious, although its health benefits have long been recognized. It is now being further explored as a way of reducing stress on both mind and body.

Studies have found that regular meditation can:
* Reduce healthcare use
* Increase longevity and quality of life
* Reduce chronic pain
* Reduce anxiety
* Reduce high blood pressure
* Reduce serum cholesterol level
* Reduce substance abuse
* Increase intelligence-related measures
* Reduce post-traumatic stress syndrome in Vietnam veterans
* Lower blood cortisol levels initially brought on by stress

So you see, apart from just helping to lower cholesterol levels, there are many other life benefits to meditating!

Wishing you the very best in your endeavors

Ramzi Abboud
Cholesterol Consultant, Author and President
Lower-Cholesterol-Naturally-Fast

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ramzi Abboud is a recognized authority on the subject of lowering cholesterol. His website, http://www.lower-cholesterol-naturally-fast.com provides a wealth of information on every thing you’ll ever need to know about lowering cholesterol, including information on over 40 natural supplements that can help to melt away your high cholesterol levels

Posted on Aug 29th, 2006

How can you manage your phobias and other related fears while being in a relationship? It can be tough to be in a relationship and have to deal with your fears and other phobias.

One of the ways to manage your particular phobia is to find out what exactly is your fear. If you have trouble finding out what that fear may be, then try to talk to a professional who can help you figure out what the fear may be. Once you know what the fear is, then the next step is to find the ways to deal with that fear.

For instance, one of the ways to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, your afraid that if you do not get that job promotion then you will be stuck at your job forever. This depresses you, however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is that there all are kinds of jobs available and just because you don’t get this job promotion doesn’t mean that you will never get one. In addition, people change jobs all the time, and you always have that option of going elsewhere if you are unhappy at your present location. Changing your thinking can help you manage your fears.

Sometimes, we may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, divide the task into a series of smaller steps and then complete each of the smaller tasks one at a time. Completing these smaller tasks will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

As a layman, I realize it is not easy to overcome our phobias. Remember that sometimes our worrying and fears can make the problem even worse. Take things in stride and try not focus too much on the problem. In time, you will find the ways to overcome your phobia. If you have trouble, talk to a professional who can give you additional insights on your situation.

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear" an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

Posted on Aug 29th, 2006

Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always feeling angry and “used” by her family, constantly saying that everybody took advantage of her. She felt that she worked like a slave but her family showed no appreciation or acknowledgement of her many efforts.

Case #2- Bill, a 34 year old husband complained that his critical wife was always angry at him.

He spent his life trying to cope with her outrages which often escalated him into defensive anger which didn’t happen anywhere but in this relationship.

Case #3- Betty, a 42 year separated mother struggled with her soon to be ex-husband’s contempt and disrespect every time she angrily called him to discuss details of their divorce. These three cases bring up the question often asked by participants in our anger management classes: Is it possible to control how family members treat us? The short answer is “no” — but often we can teach them to treat us better!

Believe it or not, we are constantly teaching our family how to treat us— both by our responses to their behavior, and by the behavior we display to them which they react to. In our case examples:

- By automatically doing whatever her husband and children requested, Elizabeth was “teaching” them that there are almost no limits to what she would do for them.

- With his behavior, Bill was actually teaching his wife that the way to get attention from him (even if it was negative attention) was for her to create drama.

- Betty was so intimidated by her husband, that her defensive “attitude” was “teaching” him that to deal with her, he had to push back with the contempt and disrespect that he constantly showed her.

The dance of anger

Our interchange with family members is often like a carefully choreographed dance. They make a move. You make a move in response to their move. They then respond to what you said or did and …well, you get the idea!

How do you change the dance? Start by seeing yourself as a teacher—of how you would like your family to treat you.

Four ways to change what you teach others

1. Try a softer start-up. Marital research shows that the first few seconds of an interaction can predict the final outcome of the encounter. Try being softer, more polite, more respectful, less hostile, or more empathetic—and see how this change in your approach actually teaches others to respond better to you.

2. Take a time-out before dealing with the conflict or situation. Conflicting or arguing family members often work themselves up to a point at which problem solving is impossible.

The solution is to retreat and give yourself time to calm down and think things over. This takes at least 20 minutes, often much longer. Before taking your time out, it is important to tell the other person that you will commit to returning soon to deal with the conflict, after you are calmer—then be sure to do it!

3. Acknowledge that you see how they must be seeing the situation. Called “empathy,” this response on your part teaches others that you care about their feelings and viewpoints, and opinions.

Acknowledgement doesn’t mean that you necessarily agree with their viewpoint —only that you see it. Sometimes, your family needs to know that you care about them and respect their opinions before they listen to what you say.

4. Set limits and boundaries for your family members. Limits and boundaries are basically rules regarding acceptable behaviors toward you as well as what you are willing or not willing to do.

If you feel others are taking advantage of you, ask yourself what you may be doing ( or not doing )to give the message it is “ok” for them to do whatever they are doing. Often you can change their behavior toward you by teaching them different rules of being with you. The easiest way to do this is simply to respond differently yourself. For instance, they make you the core of a nasty joke. Being a nice person, you pretend it doesn’t bother you (even though it does), so you laugh with everybody else. As an alternative, try not laughing with them, which is a way of teaching them that they have crossed a boundary with you.

2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Dr. Tony Fiore (http://www.angercoach.com) is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at http://www.angercoach.com

Posted on Aug 28th, 2006

Take a look at Corporate Executives; You can rarely tell when are stressed out. One reason you can’t is because they have learned to effectively manage their stress levels. If they didn’t, under the high pressure, they would fold. They can’t walk around in a state of disarray because they don’t have that luxury. There’s always another Apprentice ready to take their place, and they too will be able to effectively manage stress.

One of the top stress-relievers is exercise. Exercise is a way to release tension and take your mind off of the stress that is likely bogging you down and weighing heavy on your heart. If you don’t have the time to exercise, you better find time. High-stress jobs can bring on all sorts of health problems and put you at a greater risk for heart disease and stroke. You also run the risk of other health problems often brought on by stress.

Do you like to read? If you do, then curl up with one of your favorite books right before calling it a day. If you read before you fall asleep, it’s likely you will experience a more restful night because the last thing on your mind as you begin to doze off will not be a mental checklist of things to do first thing the next morning. Do not watch the news before going to bed. There is always something on that will lead you to think of stressful situations in the world, and right now at this very minute, you can’t do anything, so go to sleep without the TV on.

Most of Business Executives are on the computer a lot during the normal business hours. Therefore they should avoid it at all costs on the home front. You don’t need a visual reminder of what work looks like. Don’t even play online poker during the work week, don’t turn it on. Take up a new hobby such as Golf, Horseback Riding or something the whole family can enjoy. It is much more fun to have time to relax with your family and friends and as long as everyone gets along, it’s stress free.

What about a hot, luxurious bath. Fill the tub with bubbles and let your cares float away and all of the stresses of the day. Guys and Girls find that a manicure with an extensive hand massage is a favorite way to relieve stress and ladies, a pedicure can do the trick, quicker! Taking care of you definitely relieves the day’s tensions. Full body massages are an extra special way to treat yourself when you know you are facing a pretty tough week ahead or you have just had the week you want to forget. Take your vitamins and find out which vitamins and nutrients are effective in giving you more energy and mental clarity so you are sure to be at 100% on the job or off!

A smart thing to do if you want to reduce your stress level is to plan ahead. Keep an organized day planner and use it for business and personal events. Keep important phone numbers in the address book of the planner, because you never know when you might be stuck in traffic and running late! And being late can cause an enormous amount of stress.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, confidence and self esteem improvement as well as how to take command of your career.

Posted on Aug 28th, 2006

Q: We recently had someone come to our company to talk about stress management. All he did was talk about the physical results of stress and tell us we need to not be so stressed and to relax. It really wasn’t very helpful, and I was wondering if you could offer some tips on how to handle stress.

A: You’ve run into a problem I see all too often in the field of stress management, as well as in any other area that involves change.

Anyone can describe the problem for you, sometimes in great detail.

Then a few others can describe the problem and tell you what you should do about it.

What you need is someone to tell you the how of managing stress.

To get you started on managing stress, here are three tools that you can use right away.

1) Tool of relaxation

Here’s something I call push-button relaxation. Picture yourself somewhere that is very relaxing and peaceful. See, hear and feel everything as if you were there. Create your own personal button to create this picture/feeling. For some people it’s a snap of the fingers, others use a word or phrase - whatever quickly takes you there in your imagination. Use your push-button when you’re feeling stress and notice the difference.

2) Tool of battle

This does not mean grab your sword and shield. It does mean to pick your battles wisely. It’s vital to ask:

Is this a battle worth fighting?

Many of us tend to major in minor things. We let too many little things upset us. The more you ask this question, the less you’ll have needless battles, and you’ll have less stress and more energy.

3) Tool of fun and spontaneity

We’ve just about killed off fun and spontaneity with our over-scheduled, day-planner-run lives. I’ve even seen one friend’s daily schedule that had a 15-minute block that reminded him to "have fun."

Here’s my challenge to you:

Sometime in the next week, do something spontaneous and fun.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Aug 27th, 2006

What can a guy do when his worries and anxieties overwhelm him? Well, there are many ways for men to deal with this situation. Here is a brief list of techniques that a man can use to help manage their worries and anxieties.

Sometimes what we fear may happen can be overly exaggerated. A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. Remember that all the worrying in the world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and when something does happen, take it in stride.

A good way to manage your worry is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.

I read that most of what we worry about never comes true. Instead of worrying about something that probably won’t happen, concentrate on what you are able to do. Everything else you can leave in the hands of God.

When overwhelmed with worry, a person may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at them all at once. Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up. Ignore the fear behind these thoughts, and your worry should decrease.

When managing your fears and anxieties do not try to tackle everything at once. The best solution is to break your fears or problems into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

As a Layman, I realize it can be difficult to get rid of our fears and worries even when they overwhelm us. If nothing else works, take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. Doing something you enjoy can give you a fresh perspective on things.

Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear" an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

Posted on Aug 27th, 2006

Q. I’ve suffered a few setbacks and disappointments in the last year and seem to be bogged down in them. A business that I began failed, and my long-term girlfriend left me for someone else.

I want to move past this but just don’t seem able to bounce back. What can I do?

A. Let’s pretend for a few moments that we are in a seminar, and let me ask for a show of hands:

How many of you have ever been rejected by anyone, for anything, at any time in your life?

How many of you have ever suffered a defeat over something large or small, for any reason, at any time in your life?

All of us have suffered rejection and defeat at some point in our lives: loss of jobs, broken relationships, deaths, disappointments, or just the ups and downs of everyday living.

Motivational speaker W. Mitchell has been quoted as saying,

"It’s not what happens to us that matters; it’s what we do about it that makes a difference."

With that thought in mind, I’ve noticed that when presented with rejection and/or defeat, most people have one of two reactions:

They either let it beat them, or they rise above it.

I call these two responses "dropping dead" and "bouncing back."

How to "drop dead"

Believe that this event defines you and your life now and forever. In other words, it’s a final judgment of who you are.

Lose perspective. Focus only on what happened to you and nothing else.

Organize your thoughts, feelings, what you talk about - in other words, your whole life around what has happened. Talk about nothing else. Bore your friends.

Take a "dead roach approach": flat on your back with your legs in the air, no power.

Quit. Give up. Throw in the towel.

Believe in your heart that you have failed. Even worse, define yourself as a failure.

Focus on the past, something you can do nothing about.

Go it alone.

How to "bounce back"

Decide to. It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "People are about as happy as they decide to be." I think it’s the same with bouncing back. I realize that sounds so simple, but that’s really where it starts.

Implement the principle of NEXT!!! This one comes from the world of sales. The top salespeople in any field have trained themselves to handle rejection by saying "next" to themselves. In this context, "next" means to move on into the future and not get stuck in the past, not even the recent past.

Implement the principle of Open Doors. God never closes one door without opening several others. We have to look for them, however.

Focus on the present and future, two things you can do something about. The best way to predict the future is to create it as close as you can to the way you would like it to be.

Install a new belief that says I can only fail if I quit or if I don’t learn something from the experience. In this way, you have to try really hard to fail, sort of like failing gym class.

Get the support you need.

Make these two crucial distinctions:

1. Make a place for what has happened in your life. It may stink, not be fair, and you may hate it. But it did happen and denying it will only come back to bite you later.

2. Put it in it’s place, which is behind you, in the past. Think of the event like a chapter in a book that you do not have to read again and again.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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