Archive for August, 2006

Posted on Aug 11th, 2006

Stressors are agents that cause stress. Stressors can be divided into two broad categories:
· External
· Internal

External Stressors
External stressors are the sources of stress that we are aware of around us. These stressors are things that create a situation of perceived threat in our minds and bodies. Over the last few years a lot of research has been done on external stressors. These stressors can affect us in various settings- at work, at home, while driving and in a social setting. We are all free sprits in Nature. Anything that constraints our freedom of expression, thought or action creates a situation of stress that out bodies and our minds would like to change. It results in a feeling of unhappiness and discontent. For example, the same home can be a happy place or a stressful place. If things do not happen according to our desires at home, our wishes are unfulfilled and we feel stressed. In the workplace, our expectation of our work, our employers, our colleagues and our own commitments, if unfulfilled, create a situation that our mind perceives as a threat. We find ourselves helpless and unable to change the situation. Our free spirit is stilted. We feel the ‘pressure’. This is stress.

Internal Stressors
Internal stressors are the stressors inside us. These are stressor that have been in our minds and bodies for many years of our lives. These stressors exist in the form of our genetic loading. They are also restrictions that have been imposed on us by our parents, our teachers and various authority figures that have taught us what to do and more importantly, what not to do. Such internal stressors remain in our bodies, unknown to us, in the form of emotions. According to recent researches done in the United States, such emotions exist in our bodies in the form of neurochemicals called neuropeptides. Neuropeptides are laid out in our cell systems in such a manner that the patterns are hard to delete. Such patterns, when laid out with our emotional experiences, persist for our lifetime. In this form, stress is stored in our bodies. These stressed or negative emotions or neuropeptides are organized in such a way as to affect our perception, our thinking and our behaviour. These stresses become chronic.

The interaction of the external and internal stressors and the internal stresses creates what we call stress. The internal stressors mentioned above, when interacting with the external stressors (environment), create arousal in our body systems. The internal stressors then become stress.

This is an excerpt from The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress. ISBN 1901657655. It is available through http://www.amazon.com and http://www.amazon.co.uk. The author,Dr. Chadha is a psychiatrist with experitse in drug free treatment of psychiatric conditions. He is based in Dublin, Ireland. His website address is: http://www.drpkchadha.com

Posted on Aug 11th, 2006

Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent upon a variety of factors. For example, it appears that attending daily NA or AA meetings and staying in communication with ones chosen sponsor will definitely assist an individual in successfully implementing his recovery plan. Getting and staying committed to working the 12 Step Program also appears to increase the probability of the person staying abstinent from drugs and alcohol. While the above-mentioned elements of a persons overall recovery plan are crucial to his recovery, another major factor that will greatly influence an individual’s continued abstinence is how he is able to handle the breakdowns that happen in life.

Knowing about breakdowns, what they are and how to manage them, is absolutely necessary for one to stay committed to his recovery plan. Breakdowns are what brought an individual into treatment and eventually created the space for him to begin his recovery. Breakdowns also happen while a person is in treatment and will continue to take place after he leaves. Even after successfully completing a treatment program, breakdowns are almost certain to happen as one returns to the community from which he came. In fact, both the client and his counselor should expect breakdowns to occur after treatment. It is for this reason that knowledge of the structure of breakdowns and how to transform them is very important if not crucial for the individual wanting recovery.

What are breakdowns? Experientially breakdowns start to occur when an event or events happen that the individual believes should not happen or ought to happen differently than how they take place. As a result the individual starts to feel frustrated, angry, disappointed or even sad about what is happening in his life. Inside these types of emotions the person starts to become resentful, creating a story about the event and to which he will eventually begin to blame, be it other people, places, things, situations or circumstances for that which is appearing. A breakdown eventuates into a relapse when the individual believes that his experience is intolerable, feels inadequate with respect as to how to handle it and chooses to use drugs or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of that he is experiencing. In this case, a breakdown and ones inability to transform it leads directly to relapse.

Inside the work of transformational counseling, the process of enrollment will assist the individual in becoming authentic where he was being inauthentic and also allow that person to stay in his recovery. Enrollment is the third component of transformational counseling the utilization of which allows the individual to again move out of his self-limiting belief and back into being his created possibilities. When one begins to experience a breakdown he has gone back into being his self-limiting belief. Their will be the pretense of what is happening and that which is again hidden from him hence the created inauthenticity. The technology of the enrollment process allows the individual the ability to transform the experience by being authentic and as a result regaining his power and freedom through being his possibilities. Utilization of the process of enrollment as with transformation itself is a practice that requires a great deal of commitment. As with any skill the structure of enrollment is taught and it is in communication with the persons coach or even sponsor that its implementation is brought forth into the individual’s life.

The first component of enrollment has to do with recognizing when one is in a breakdown. The key to such awareness is to be found in how the individual is feeling about what is happening in his life at any one moment. There are many times in our lives where we do not stop to monitor or become present to how we are feeling. Sometimes we have a tendency to merely ignore or move away from how we are feeling about something or someone. Breakdowns have certain emotions attached to their design. Those most common are emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, frustration and sadness. The first part of utilizing the enrollment process is to monitor ones feeling state, to become present to how one is feeling and to do so to the point that it becomes part of ones very way of being in the world. Learning how to stay aware of ones emotional state is crucial to being able to successfully transform the breakdown experience that is being created.

The second component has to do with becoming present to the story that the person is creating with respect to the breakdown. While the emotional state of the individual is very important to become aware of, listening to the story that he is creating is also equally of importance. Within a conversation of transformation, every emotion is created by a thought. When there are negative emotions present in a person’s life as he is experiencing a breakdown there are also corresponding thoughts taking place. The thoughts that are taking place will appear as a story in the person’s mind. Within a breakdown the story will be other oriented, involving external people, places, things, circumstance or situations. Within the structure of the story, inherent to it, will be the belief that the external events are the real or true cause of how the person is feeling. It is with these thoughts that the breakdown and inauthentic way of being exists, a pretense that it is about another, hiding what it is truly about. As mentioned above, blame and resentment will eventually result. Becoming present to the story is vital if one is not to impulsively act upon it and as a result bring its destructive consequences into existence with respect to his life. Becoming present or an observer to ones story is crucial to transforming a breakdown.

The third component involves becoming present to ones self-limiting belief, to the source, to that which actually created the breakdown. Becoming present to ones self limiting belief, to that which has determined ones life up until the process of transformation began to take place, is the first component in the process of transformational counseling. Even though the distinction of ones self-limiting belief will create the space for the person to begin to create his life anew, it does not go away, become fixed or get cured. The self-limiting belief, much like a virus that has appeared in the human body, continues to exist. As with any idea that we have or create about us, it is also a way of being. We be or exist by what we think and more specifically by what we think about ourselves. What we are familiar with is being our self-limiting belief in the world. It is familiar for us to think and feel that the world is more powerful and real than we are and furthermore, that it is something that must be controlled and even survived. We will eventually experience a breakdown given our sense of inadequacy with respect to the world as this is how we have been in the community in the past. However, once the self-limiting belief is again distinguished the inauthenticity begins to weaken or be dissolved.

The fourth component of enrollment involves creating a possibility inside the breakdown experience. This act of creation can be to invent a new possibility or enroll oneself back into a person’s previously chosen possibilities. Creating possibilities for ones life is the second component of transformational counseling. However, once we get it that we are being our self limiting belief, that the source of the breakdown is the self limiting belief and not that which the story tends convey, it is at that moment that we can generate a possibility to be at that moment, a possibility to stand inside given the breakdown experience. It is by generating a possibility by our spoken word that the experience itself will transform. The breakdown only happens because of who we are being. It is by causing a possibility to come into existence through our word that the inauthentic way of being completely dissolves and with it the breakdown itself. It is with the creation of a possibility that the person’s power and freedom are once again restored.

The final component of the enrollment technology is acknowledgement. Once the experience is transformed it is important for a person to get the victory that his possibility has made for himself and his life, to acknowledge the difference of such a victory. Acknowledgement is about getting how the created or invented possibility has transformed the breakdown from what it was to that which is truly a breakthrough for the individual, especially with respect to the event or experience occurring. Acknowledgement is about getting the power of our word for allowing us to transform breakdowns into breakthroughs, to once again become our possibilities. It is this acknowledgement that strengthens ones process of transformation leaving the person’s power, freedom and self-expression fully restored. Acknowledgement is about standing in ones possibility, celebrating ones power and freedom having given up being a victim.

The practice of enrollment will make a difference for the person wanting recovery. Applying the technology of enrollment will enable the person to transform a breakdown when it happens and as a result avoid the destructive and possibly even lethal consequences that would have happened as a result of staying in a breakdown. For the individual in recovery, staying in a breakdown only increases the chances that he will turn to drugs and/or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of a breakdown. Staying in a breakdown as opposed to being able to transform tends to lead to relapse. Clients at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida are taught to distinguish their self-limiting belief, create new possibilities for their life and furthermore, how to utilize the power of enrollment technology. The success of utilizing enrollment and even recovery itself, especially in the early stages of sobriety, will necessitate the person staying in contact with his sponsor or counselor especially when breakdowns happen. It is only in communication with another that the individual will continue to be his possibilities in life.

Dr. Henshaw earned his doctoral degree in Human Development and Counseling from Boston University and has designed and implemented mental health and substance abuse programs in outpatient, residential and hospital settings in Illinois, Massachusetts and Florida.

Dr. Henshaw is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the State of Florida, a certified Clinical Supervisor and a member of the American Counseling Association & American Psychological Association. Trained in neuro-linguistic programming, Dr. Henshaw is also certified to practice and teach hypnosis in the State of Florida.

Dr. Harry Henshaw is also in private practice in Hallandale Beach, Florida and utilizes the technology of Transformational Counseling. In addition to his work as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Supervisor, Dr. Henshaw has developed a series of audio helath care products for use by professional providers and the public, http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Posted on Aug 10th, 2006

Stress is something that is routine in the life of a professional or even householder. In fact it plays an active role in giving rise to acne. It is really necessary to cope with stress by learning a few ways to relax. By relaxing, you will not only relieve yourself from acne but also learn a meaningful way of living.

You can try out several methods that keep you away from stress such as taking a bath, shopping, going for a movie, visiting places etc. Do not brood over the issues relating to office or your household duties.

Join a health center nearby that provides you with spiritual training such as yoga classes. When you get this education you will acquire a moral foundation within you, where you will learn to cope up with any type of problem. The wise old techniques of relieving stress such as ‘Pranayam’ is relevant even today. It is very effective as it balances your mood swings. Meditation is a complete spiritual activity and therefore a very powerful means to calm your state of mind. Relaxation is very necessary and if you are totally relaxed and stress free, you will be free from acne as well.

Paul has been providing answers to lots of queries through his website on a wide variety of subjects ranging from satellite phones to acne. To learn more visit http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1524.html

Posted on Aug 10th, 2006

I’m sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome, a painful and difficult-to-treat digestive disease.

Well, there is another disease that is also painful and difficult to treat. I call it GBS - Get By Syndrome.

GBS is characterized by the tendency to sell yourself and others short, to believe that minimal effort is "good enough." Just doing "good enough" is a habit that is easy to acquire and difficult to break.

The problem is that "good enough" never is.

In business, if you do less than is expected, customers will talk about you in negative ways. If you just do what is expected - good enough - no one is likely to say anything about you at all. If you do more that what is expected, people will rave about you.

We can develop GBS in our homes and relationships as well. Many people get up in the morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, get up the next day, and just as it says on the shampoo bottle, rinse and repeat the same thing as the day before.

At the end of the day spent living by the Get By Syndrome, you don’t settle easy, because the day has not been good enough. At the end of a life lived by GBS, you’ll have lots of regrets.

The solution is to raise the bar of expectations of yourself in your own life.

Doing just a little bit more than the next guy in business, finding some creative ways to say I love you at home, can change your days and your life. And the good news is that it really is not a difficult habit to develop.

Just one more repetition when you are working out, one more minute spent playing with your kids, one more phone call to take care of a customer - that’s all it takes to make a significant difference.

Here’s my challenge to you to beat Get By Syndrome: For one week, do just a little bit extra at home and at work. Pay attention to two things: how you feel differently and the response of those around you

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Aug 9th, 2006

Just like a vehicle needs proper fuel and maintenance to perform properly, so does the human body. Over time, abuse and neglect can lead to a wide array of problems and eventual breakdown. Stress has the same effect on the body, over time it causes a variety of symptoms, which left untreated can lead to life-threatening illnesses like heart disease and cancer. A well-balanced, nutrient rich diet is essential for health and stress reduction. Simple adjustments to your diet now can immediately reduce the effects of stress, which in turn will give you more energy, make you stronger, and more resistant to disease.

Stress Busting Foods

* High fiber foods, including fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains, increase serotonin (a mood enhancing hormone) in the brain, naturally reducing the effects of stress.

* Eat raw fruits and vegetables often. They are not only higher in vitamins and minerals than cooked foods; they also contain natural stress reducing compounds called flavonoids.

* Low fat dairy and yogurt are recommended because they are high in calcium and magnesium. Foods high in calcium and magnesium have been shown to reduce stress because these two nutrients relax muscle fibers.

Things to Avoid

* Avoid foods and drinks that are filled with stimulants like caffeine which tax the nervous and immune system. Chocolate, coffee, and most teas should only be used in moderation. In addition, there are toxic levels of acid in most soft drinks which rob the body of calcium (one of the natural stress busters).

* Sugar is another food that can trigger stress because it causes rapid fluctuations in blood sugar levels. Sugars are hidden in many foods under names like dextrose and sucrose.

* As much as possible avoid packaged meals and snacks that contain artificial colors, flavors, additives, and preservatives. These chemicals are hard on the body because they are not recognized as natural, therefore the body responds defensively to them, straining the immune system.

Unfortunately, many foods are loaded with refined sugars, bleached flours, additives, preservatives, and other toxins that can compromise health. Many foods today lack vital nutrients and as a result you may not be getting the nutrition you need to counteract the effects of stress. In most instances, diet alone is not sufficient in meeting individual nutritional needs. A good multi-vitamin and/or herbal supplements can help ensure proper nutrition, and as a result help you reduce stress. In particular there are a few vitamins that are essential for stress management.

Stress Vitamins

There are a couple of vitamins that have been shown in studies to greatly prevent and/or reduce the signs of stress. According to Psychology today, people with high levels of vitamin C do not display the expected signs of mental and physical stress when subjected to intense psychological stresses.

In addition, the family of B-vitamins strengthens the nervous and immune systems, which allows them to better combat fatigue brought on by stress. The B vitamin Niacin also helps the body effectively release energy from carbohydrates, balancing and leveling blood sugar levels which also reduce stress.

Oktay Ozadam has an avid interest in health and well-being. Find out more about health and nutritional health supplements.

Posted on Aug 9th, 2006

Think back a few years to the nine coal miners trapped in a Pennsylvania mine and their rescuers.

Do you remember that story?

I thought the miners were goners.

They were trapped in a 4-foot-high cave. It was dark, wet and cold, 250 feet underground - almost the length of a football field - for more than three days.

Now, that’s stress.

But, they did get out.

4 Lessons We Can Learn

1. Seek solutions, not blame

Apparently one guy was responsible for accidentally breaking through the barrier between the miners and an old abandoned mine, causing the mine they were in to flood, trapping them.

The rescuers did not focus on blaming this man.

Instead, some miners further risked their lives to rescue him, because he was separated from the other eight. The group made a plan for how to survive until they were rescued.

It’s almost a cultural mandate in our litigious society to find someone to blame - as if blame is a solution.

2. Work together

The trapped miners used a rope to connect one to another so they would remain together, in life or death. When one got cold, the others would huddle around him to provide warmth. When one began to panic, the others calmed him down.

3. Focus your attention

It’s amazing how focused you can become when you need/choose to, especially if your life is at risk.

The miners focused on staying alive until they were rescued. The rescuers focused on getting them out.

Imagine what we could accomplish if we brought that level of focus to our daily lives. To our families, our jobs?

4. Live on hope and faith

Living on hope and faith requires the guts to look past present circumstances, regardless of how hopeless they may seem. Stay focused on your goal. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we have not yet seen.

Faith and hope might seem like squishy concepts, but they were certainly real for those nine miners and their rescuers.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Aug 8th, 2006

The most common complaint of mothers today is that they are tired. Being a mom is hard work. I love Dr. Phil. He always says, "Being a stay at home mom is like having two full time jobs." Following that logic, moms who work from home actually have three full-time jobs. It’s exhausting just thinking about it. While we obviously need to conserve our energy, it is difficult when we are confronted with constant energy drainers. This month I am going to address those things in life that steal energy.

Today my two year old woke up, and I could tell from the beginning, it was going to be one of those days. Independence and opposition were on the top of his priority list. He wants cookies for breakfast…not. The fork I pick is absolutely the wrong fork. After a challenging bath, he insists on drying with the dark green towel. I explain this towel is dirty and he has a choice between a red towel and a light green towel. When he stubbornly refuses to make a choice, I pick the red towel. Of course that is the wrong choice. As all moms know, in this kind of mood, the light green towel would also have been the wrong choice. And every child, regardless of age, has days like this. Dealing with negativity in children is an obvious energy drainer. The answer is to remain positive and flexible, to work at neutralizing the child’s conflict energy. It is important to rise above the frustration and meet his negative energy with love.

While the daily demands of being a mom take an obvious toll on energy, there are many energy drains that are not as obvious. Unresolved conflict and negative emotions can be an enormous, though subtle, energy drain. Many people are not even aware of the energy it takes to hold on to unresolved issues. Think of it this way. The more unresolved issues the brain has to cope with, the less energy there is to cope with every day issues. No wonder coping skills tend to diminish as these issues build up. Forgive and let go. If fear and anxiety are taking over, have faith to believe that everything is going to be okay. We all have the power to handle anything that comes our way.

Relationships that compromise our values drain energy. I know a mom who wants to instill high self-esteem in her son. She is encouraging and loving. Her husband, on the other hand, values making his son tough. He doesn’t want to nurture his son for fear of making him too soft. When these two energies conflict, the mom feels unsupported. Each of us needs to find balance in our relationships. We must understand and convey to family and friends the values we are unwilling to compromise on and set boundaries with those who challenge those values.

Not enough sleep or exercise is obviously going to deplete energy. But how about that health concern we avoid? Taking care of the body, the mind and the spirit are important when it comes to keeping energy levels high. When I first started staying home with my children, I was very lonely and bored. I had been a working mom for over 10 years. Now here I was stuck in the house carrying on one-way conversations with a baby. I didn’t know any other stay-at-home moms, and I certainly wasn’t being intellectually stimulated. It took me a while to figure out why I was so down. I was so busy taking care of my child, that I forgot I was more than just a mother. It took volunteering at church and starting my own business to fulfill that depleted part of me. Our energy drains when we don’t nurture the intellectual and creative parts of ourselves. It is okay for us to take a break from motherhood and be the women we were designed to be.

Clutter and disorganization are major energy drainers. When my house is in order, I feel so much lighter and freer. Believe me, I know it is difficult to stay organized and clutter free. Start with one room at a time. Fly Lady tells us to set the timer and de-clutter for 15 minutes a day.

It is interesting that financial issues are the number one things that coaches work on with their clients. This is not surprising when so many areas of life rest on our financial state. Having a Will to protect children and assets, getting a clear idea of how much money will be needed for a child’s education and for retirement are issues that need to be addressed. Worrying about these things even once in a while drains energy - energy that is needed for daily life.

Understanding the things that can drain energy is the first step towards dealing with and eliminating them. It is amazing how much energy can be freed up and how much more fun life is when we resolve our worries and deal with our unfinished business. Being happier and healthier moms not only benefits us, but also our children.

Lori Radun, CEC is a certified life coach for moms and author of the 8-week eCourse "The Energy Equation – Energizers – Energy Drains = JOY!". If you’re looking for an instant formula for living a energy-filled and joyful life, go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com/ecourses.html

Posted on Aug 8th, 2006

1)Excessive worry

No, I’m not saying "don’t worry, be happy."

Well-used worry can alert us to areas in our lives that need attention and change. It’s just that most folks don’t use worry very well. Turning worry into action takes care of the worry.

2) A sedentary life

Would you send your kid to a summer camp that made the campers eat a continual diet of unhealthy food, allowed them to move as little as possible, made them stay inside and watch meaningless junk in their spare time?

Of course not.

Yet many of us volunteer for that lifestyle on a continual basis. Get up. Go outside and move. Human beings feel much better while living life instead of watching other people live.

3) Procrastination

Four words that virtually guarantee failure are "I’ll do it later."

Every time we say we’ll do it later, that thing runs around in our head taking up space. That’s too much stuff to carry around.

Practice doing it now. Do it now. Do it. Now.

4) Excuses

We seem to be the most creative when we need to find an excuse, usually for why we did or did not do something.

It’s been said that when we set a goal, there is only one of two outcomes:

We either achieve the goal, or have excuses why we did not. To free yourself from excuses, take responsibly for your own. Make sure you are doing all the necessary things to get you where you wish to go.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Posted on Aug 7th, 2006

Are you an emotional eater addicted to sweets?

When you feel stressed or anxious, do you get a sudden craving for chocolate?

Is your best friend a big bag of potato chips?

If you answered "yes" to these questions, you fit the profile of an emotional eater.

Millions of people fall into this category and emotional eating ranks as one of the main reasons people become overweight.

Emotional eating does not satisfy hunger, it temporarily satisfies an emotional or psychological disruption in our well-being.

Eating is a quick and easy fix–as simple as a opening the refrigerator, running down to the corner drug store, or stopping by the fast food drive-through window.

We live in an incredibly stressful society. We might not have to walk five miles through the snow to school like great-grandma did, but she didn’t face the pressures of life in the 21st century, either.

How do you win this battle?

First, recognize what is happening inside you.

When you experience an upsetting situation, what is your initial response? Do you want to run away and find something to put in your mouth, preferably sweet and/or salty?

Listen to that response. Your body is telling you something. "I’m upset and stressed," is probably what you are hearing.

But does your body really want a Hershey bar or a bag of potato chips? Initially it makes you feel good, but an hour or two later you feel empty again, physically and emotionally.

Guilt sets in and you still have the original, unresolved situation.

Plus the long-term consequences of poor nutrition take their toll on your body.

What else can you do besides munch?

Choose something that does NOT involve eating.

If you have a friend you can call, great; just make sure you don’t overburden others. We all have problems, you know.

Instead, keep a book of motivational sayings, quotes, or stories close by. Force yourself to get the book out and turn to one of the stories and start reading. As the words flow past your eyes, see how much better you start to feel.

  • Vacuum the rug, clean the kitchen counters, polish the daylights out of your windows.

  • Knit a scarf, crochet an afghan, sew a quilt.
  • Shoot baskets, swing a bat, take a walk.
  • Write a scathing letter to the person who upset you, then tear it up.
  • Read the Bible, pray, meditate.
  • Retreat to your basement, attic, or bathroom, and scream your lungs out!
  • Reaching for a book is just as easy as reaching for food–cheaper, too!

    Getting started on your new responses to emotional upset will be the hardest part. Make it your goal and it will become a habit.

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    Posted on Aug 7th, 2006

    1) Create the life you desire

    Two of our most underdeveloped muscles are our choice muscles and decision muscles. Begin to exercise these muscles by making decisions and choices that serve to create the life you desire. If you don’t, who will?

    2) Do work that you love

    Some of the happiest people I know are those who get up in the morning, get to do something they love and also get paid for it. What do you love to do? How could you make a living at it? If you are not doing work you love and know you will have to be doing it for a while, what can you find in your job that you could love to do? What could you get really good at in this job that you could use later on in a job you love?

    3) Keep it simple

    Complicated is not better. Simpler is better.

    4) Risk and make mistakes and even fail

    I’ve heard many people say "I’d like to do so and so, but I’m afraid I’ll fail." So!? Failure is not the end. Failure is simply feedback. Learn from any failure. Then take what you learn to increase your chances of success the next time.

    Hockey great Wayne Gretsky said "you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take." So do your research, decide on the best plan of action, and take your shot.

    5) Slow down and relax

    Some time during the past two decades we began to believe that the faster we go and the busier we are, the more successful we are.

    We’ve turned into a nation of frantic people scurrying from one place to another trying to get it all done.

    Stop. Sit down. Don’t do anything. Or if you simply must do something, just do one thing at a time. Just for five minutes.

    Billy Joel once sang "slow down you crazy child, you’re so ambitious for a juvenile."

    It’s good advice.

    Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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