Posted on Oct 24th, 2006

“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again” – Clint Eastwood.

We all experience relationship problems at some time in our lives. Conflicts can arise between spouse, children, parents, friends, co-workers, employees and bosses.

Most of us assume that relationships should just work. Many people think that humans are naturally loving, caring and committed. That’s not necessarily true.

Much of our relationship stress comes from conscious, or unconscious, efforts to change or control other people. You want others to behave in certain ways and when they don’t you become angry and resentful.

The more you try to change them, the more they resist, and the worse the relationship becomes. We can be very critical and judgmental of other people.

These are all patterns to look out for. However, it’s much easier to see this in other people but not in yourself. Watch carefully and try to observe, objectively, how you behave.

Lack of an established network of family and friends makes you more prone to stress. People who are isolated or live alone are unable to talk about their feelings to others.

We know that older people who maintain relationships with their adult children suffer from less stress.

Cope with emotional stress

Loneliness is a common and challenging form of stress. The isolation can sometimes cause you to feel rejected and depressed. But the stress from loneliness can be challenged when you reach out to other people, face-to-face, over the telephone or in writing.

People who are less emotionally stable or have high anxiety levels tend to experience events as more stressful than others do. They tend to have an exaggerated negative response to stress.

Hostile people and anger can be very stressful and even dangerous to the heart, for those with heart disease. Suppressed anger, irritability and hostility causes narrowing of the arteries, which is a major factor in heart disease.

It’s often the case that you get sick or injure yourself when you are recovering from a difficult situation or emotionally trying event. You manage to stay focussed throughout the crisis, and when the relaxation response kicks-in, you find you pull a muscle in your back or you get a migraine.

These are the results of emotional stress. It can result from closing the door on a relationship, learning to live alone again, or major life changes such as bereavement.

There are ways of managing emotional stress. Firstly, acknowledge that you are suffering from stress. And Then try different stress management techniques, such as massage, aromatherapy and a chiropractor.

Also, for emotional stress, good diet, exercise, adequate rest, and a positive mental outlook, are all helpful.

How to release your emotional stress

Here is a very simple technique that really works,

· Close your eyes place a few fingers on your forehead.
· Visualise the emotion as a movie in your head. Most of us can see pictures in our mind or visualise easily.
· Continue until the pictures fades after a few minutes.

This technique works because when you are under stress the circulation in our brains goes to the back of our head where long-term memory is held.

Placing the hand on the forehead moves the circulation to the front. Within a few minutes you should be less emotional about the situation or event that caused the stress.

The stress doctor provides advice, tips, tools and techniques for beating your stress problems. You can get a free short report "18 health problems linked to stress you should know about" or get daily "Stress Buster Tips" at http://www.howtobeatstress.com

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