Posted on Oct 24th, 2006

“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again” – Clint Eastwood.

We all experience relationship problems at some time in our lives. Conflicts can arise between spouse, children, parents, friends, co-workers, employees and bosses.

Most of us assume that relationships should just work. Many people think that humans are naturally loving, caring and committed. That’s not necessarily true.

Much of our relationship stress comes from conscious, or unconscious, efforts to change or control other people. You want others to behave in certain ways and when they don’t you become angry and resentful.

The more you try to change them, the more they resist, and the worse the relationship becomes. We can be very critical and judgmental of other people.

These are all patterns to look out for. However, it’s much easier to see this in other people but not in yourself. Watch carefully and try to observe, objectively, how you behave.

Lack of an established network of family and friends makes you more prone to stress. People who are isolated or live alone are unable to talk about their feelings to others.

We know that older people who maintain relationships with their adult children suffer from less stress.

Cope with emotional stress

Loneliness is a common and challenging form of stress. The isolation can sometimes cause you to feel rejected and depressed. But the stress from loneliness can be challenged when you reach out to other people, face-to-face, over the telephone or in writing.

People who are less emotionally stable or have high anxiety levels tend to experience events as more stressful than others do. They tend to have an exaggerated negative response to stress.

Hostile people and anger can be very stressful and even dangerous to the heart, for those with heart disease. Suppressed anger, irritability and hostility causes narrowing of the arteries, which is a major factor in heart disease.

It’s often the case that you get sick or injure yourself when you are recovering from a difficult situation or emotionally trying event. You manage to stay focussed throughout the crisis, and when the relaxation response kicks-in, you find you pull a muscle in your back or you get a migraine.

These are the results of emotional stress. It can result from closing the door on a relationship, learning to live alone again, or major life changes such as bereavement.

There are ways of managing emotional stress. Firstly, acknowledge that you are suffering from stress. And Then try different stress management techniques, such as massage, aromatherapy and a chiropractor.

Also, for emotional stress, good diet, exercise, adequate rest, and a positive mental outlook, are all helpful.

How to release your emotional stress

Here is a very simple technique that really works,

· Close your eyes place a few fingers on your forehead.
· Visualise the emotion as a movie in your head. Most of us can see pictures in our mind or visualise easily.
· Continue until the pictures fades after a few minutes.

This technique works because when you are under stress the circulation in our brains goes to the back of our head where long-term memory is held.

Placing the hand on the forehead moves the circulation to the front. Within a few minutes you should be less emotional about the situation or event that caused the stress.

The stress doctor provides advice, tips, tools and techniques for beating your stress problems. You can get a free short report "18 health problems linked to stress you should know about" or get daily "Stress Buster Tips" at

Posted on Oct 24th, 2006

My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning as I was doing my usual rushing around, getting ready to leave the house. He’s watched it countless times, but I’ve never managed to sit through the entire thing. This morning one song caught my attention, "If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands", which I sang many many times as a child in Sunday School, and always followed with "If you’re happy and you know it, then your life will surely show it …" In the version I heard this morning, the first verse was followed by "If you’re angry and you know it, stomp your feet", which made me pause a moment. I muttered to my husband, "Since when do kids need to be taught to stomp their feet when they’re angry?"

What do we do with anger? What do we do with any of our emotions? Are they a right, a luxury, an indulgence, or just a part of being who we are? Some of us "wear our heart on our sleeves," leaving those around with no doubts about what we’re feeling. Others (myself included) tend to keep a poker face, leaving everyone guessing. Sound familiar? Both extremes have their advantages, but as I muttered this morning, kids at least seem to start out putting their emotions out there for all to see, and aren’t one bit shy about it.

The key in all of this? What do you DO with the feelings once you’ve looked them deep in the eye and acknowledged that they are yours? Do you stamp your feet? Clap your hands? Act them out? Give them away? The very bottom line … do you react, do you release, and do you respond? The three basic R’s … three healthy stages.

Reactions are more or less involuntary and spur of the moment. There is no thought involved, but an instinctive gut reaction based on the emotion you’re feeling. Releasing emotions has two parts. First, release everyone but yourself from any responsibility for the emotion. It’s your feeling and your responsibility. Then you can choose to release the emotion entirely and give it up to God or to the universe if you wish, or follow it up with a response. Responses are based on thoughts and reasoning rather than feelings. I believe there is a place and a time for all three, so long as the emotions are acknowledged first. At times a gut reaction may be the most healthy and helpful, usually when associated with positive emotions like joy, love, affection, and so on. Negative emotions like anger usually work better when you make it past a gut reaction to release and response.

Sometimes emotions are overwhelming and we almost can’t help but react. Making a very raw painting was my reaction to a super-strong feeling of anger a few weeks ago … rather than break something (my first impulse), I grabbed the brushes and paints and went to it. I admitted I was angry, and then checked my first reaction and let fly with a slightly controlled response instead. Potential disaster and regret averted!

One last thought on sharing your feelings … letting others know how you feel, especially in a responsive way, gives them the opportunity to respond back to you. Chances are if they can see your face or hear your tone of voice they have a good idea how you feel, but telling them has a much greater impact. The R that doesn’t belong, Repression, never helps. Feelings in the open can be addressed, and I love the fact that my son is old enough now to not only stamp his feet and clap his hands, but to tell me how he feels about things so we can talk about it. Go on then … keep the three R’s in mind when dealing with your feelings … react with abandon, release always, and respond wisely.

Bethany Rule is an experienced personal and professional life coach, championing human development, encouraging change, and helping you break your own rules. Based in NYC, she works with clients all over the world. Please visit to learn more.

Posted on Oct 23rd, 2006

Many surveys and studies confirm that work pressures and fears are, by far, the leading source of stress for adults in the western world. Here are just a few statistics. More than 50% of workers often spend 12-hour-days on work related duties and frequently skip lunch due to the stress of job demands.

According to an International Labour Organisation study, workers put in an equivalent of an extra 40-hour week in the year 2000, compared with 10 years earlier.

It’s estimated that one million workers are absent every day due to stress. 40% of job turnover is due to stress. And 60-80% of accidents on the job is stress related.

Job related stress is more likely to become chronic because it’s such a large part of your daily life.

What are the causes of stress at work?

The most common complaints include,

· Having no participation in decisions that affect your responsibilities.

· Unrelenting or unreasonable demands for performance.

· Lack of communication.

· Conflicts between workers or employers.

· Lack of job security.

· Long hours.

· Excessive time spent away from home and family.

· Office politics.

· Wages not equal to your levels of responsibility.

Many companies often put intense pressure on employees to perform, which can lead to high levels of tension.

For employers, treating stress has many benefits. In one study a company set up a two year stress management and education program which saved money both in compensation costs and less days lost due to sickness.

In Japan, where culturally, expectation levels are very high, approaches to reducing workplace stress include educational consultation programs for each individual worker.

Techniques to reduce work-related stress

Here are a few ways to reduce your stress at work,

· Find a sympathetic manager or personnel manager to talk to about your job stress concerns. This can be effective if it’s non-confrontational.

· Establish a network of friends at work and home.

· Re-structure your working day and priorities to eliminate unnecessary tasks.

· Focus on the positive aspects of your work, but if the job is unendurable, plan and execute a career change or transfer roles within the company.

· Schedule pleasant activities frequently and perhaps some physical exercise during lunch.

There is one last cause of stress at work. And it slowly but effectively erodes your health, dreams and happiness. None of the stress relief techniques will help if you are in the wrong job or industry. There is only one answer to this.

You have to work out what you want to do with your life. What activities you love. And you have to plan a career change. Stress caused by job dissatisfaction will never go away until you get a job you love, or at least like.

The stress doctor provides advice, tips, tools and techniques for beating your stress problems. You can get a free short report "18 health problems linked to stress you should know about" or get daily "Stress Buster Tips" at

Posted on Oct 23rd, 2006

If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances are you don’t need to be told that there’s a significant connection between sleep problems like insomnia and stress. In fact, as cases of insomnia and related sleep problems increase, more and more people find themselves caught between the pressures and responsibilities of daily life and their desire for a good night’s sleep.

The good news is that insomnia and stress don’t have to go hand in hand. There are a variety of productive ways that you can reduce stress and increase your chances of getting a good night’s sleep at the same time.

If you have already taken the basic steps necessary for a good night’s sleep (the 5 steps to better sleep outlined in my previous article and published here), the chances are you’re suffering from stress-induced insomnia, and it’s time for you to take action. That’s because anxiety of any kind has quantifiable physiological effects such as increasing your blood pressure, your heart rate and your body temperature – which in turn disrupt your body’s natural propensity for sleep and disturb your body’s nightly sleep functions. In other words, anxiety doesn’t just reduce the amount of sleep you are able to get - it damages the quality of the sleep that you do enjoy.

Fortunately, you can reduce stress and improve your sleep fairly simply by undertaking some form of regular relaxation exercise. Depending upon your preference and your degree of stress, there are several different ways to improve your sleep quality through relaxation.

For some people all it takes to reduce stress is a warm bath and some sleep-promoting aromatherapy. Using calming aromatherapy candles or adding soothing essential oils to your bath are the perfect way to diffuse anxiety and induce the sleep you need after a long day.

If you find yourself suffering from more severe stress and insomnia, you may also want to try a guided relaxation or meditation exercise to promote a good night’s sleep. This can be as simple as spending fifteen to thirty minutes sitting comfortably in silence, or as involved as using a specially prepared CD or DVD for a more structured meditation that guides you gently towards sleep. Taking an afternoon yoga class or learning some deep breathing exercises are also excellent natural sleep remedies.

The best approach to including any sleep enhancing relaxation exercise (from sleep-inducing aromatherapy to guided meditation) is to try one approach for at least two weeks and see how you get on. Because your body responds best to routine – especially when it comes to sleep – this will give your sleep cycle a chance to properly adjust. If, after a couple of weeks you find that your chosen approach is having little effect, don’t despair. Simply try another approach until you find a method that works best for you.

It won’t take long for you to discover a relaxation exercise that suits your needs and the chances are you’ll both reduce stress and be enjoying a long, restful night’s sleep sooner, rather than later.

Copyright © 2005 Donald Saunders

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Donald Saunders is the author of a number of health related publications including: "Help Me To Sleep - A Guide To Natural Sleep Remedies", "Jet Lag - An Alternative Approach", "Shift Work Insomnia" and "The Art of Meditation - A Guide To Meditation, Breathing and Relaxation Techniques"
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Posted on Oct 22nd, 2006

When an object is flexible and adapts easily to the changes in its environment then it is more likely to survive those changes.

On the other hand when it is rigid the same changes will permeate the inflexible structure and force it to change, often in ways that will cause it to shatter or disintegrate.

A simple example: note what happens to a glass sphere when dropped vs. the same for a rubber sphere. The "flexibility" or "adaptability" of the latter to such an environmental change is significantly greater. On the other hand, glass is more "adaptable”to a change in temperature than say rubber.

Applying this concept of "flexibility" or "adaptability" to one’s personality can yield fruit in terms of helping us understand what characteristics might enhance one’s overall resilience to environmental changes.

One way to conceptualize and operationalize what we call personality is to consider the conditioned beliefs upon which it is based. Such beliefs, acquired during one’s early life, affect one’s perceptual, emotional, behavioral and physiological responses to changes in one’s environment.

For instance, if one believes that any change in one’s life situation is associated with unknown and dangerous outcomes then one’s response to any change is likely to manifest as some of the following:

a) A fear of change.

b) A fear of making decisions.

c) Feelings of pervasive anxiety.

d) Feelings of helplessness and vulnerability.

e) Behavior that seeks to avoid turbulent environments.

f) Fear of engaging new relationships.

g) An inability to respond effectively when changes do occur.

And so on.

This illustrates how conditioned beliefs can affect the adaptability of a personality and therefore its overall resilience. Such beliefs make the personality structure rigid and vulnerable to disintegration in the face of real and perceived change.

Stress is what one feels when their personality structure is being "tested" in this way. So if an individual has a set of beliefs that add rigidity to their personality structure they are more likely to "feel stressed".

Adding resilience to one’s personality structure is then simply a matter of changing one’s repertoire of deeply held beliefs. In order to effect this many forms of therapy attempt to help individuals "reframe" what they perceive to be happening around them. Reframing is a process in which one is taught to think about something in a new and positive way.

Reframing essentially adds some level of flexibility to the personality structure by giving it more ways of responding to change than it had before. One thing it doesn’t do however is address the already present inflexible beliefs that were originally conditioned from early life experience. They continue to remain part of the personality structure, much like one’s “Achilles’ Heel”.

This leaves the individual prone to falling back into the "groove" of the conditioned belief rather than the reframed belief. When this occurs the individual is again stuck in a rigidified state and susceptible to feeling stressed.

Another drawback to reframing is that the individual has to consciously remember to do the reframing exercise each time something untoward occurs to them. In other words a great deal of attention or conscious effort is required to keep the individual prepared to ward off the stress response.

Clearly this is untenable in daily life as one’s attention must necessarily address other more pressing things on a regular basis. If one were to be constantly on guard and prepared to "rethink" what is happening to one it would severely incapacitate their ability to function.

There is now a more reliable way to rapidly and permanently enhance the flexibility and resilience of one’s personality that addresses both of the problems mentioned above. A new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM)(MRP) has the remarkable ability to easily and permanently release conditioned beliefs from the personality structure altogether.

The effect of such an undertaking is to automatically free the individual from the rigidity that the offending and limiting beliefs posed in the first place. This often leaves individuals with a feeling most have never experienced before in their entire lives.

It includes some of the following: feelings of lightness, detachment, great resilience, inner peace and calm, great inner strength, self confidence, self esteem, a sense of empowerment, greater vitality, more energized and much more.

What’s more, this is something that occurs spontaneously and which requires no ongoing conscious effort on the art of the individual once the offending belief is released.

It is my view, as has already been shown, that this new approach will usher in an entirely new way of helping individuals gain the much needed resilience necessary to deal with our rapidly changing world.

If you would like and experience of MRP right now kindly visit the web link below where you can download free an audio that will begin to change your life.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1:

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2006

"Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the [moment] last!"

Do you ever hear that nagging voice that says, "Stop!" "Slowdown!" "Meditate" "Breathe" "Enjoy your kids while they’re still young"?

What is the wisdom here for you in that nagging voice? We tend to ignore this wisdom and forge ahead. We have places to go, committees to run, projects to do - we don’t have time to slow down!

Expense ~

But, at what expense? What is the cost TO YOU if you don’t slow down? Peace, balance, health? Are you taking time to look at the amazing flowers, enjoy a cook out with friends and family, play a game of badminton with your children, soak up the warmth of the sun, or read a good summertime book?

Slow Down This Week ~

How can you slow down this week, take care of yourself, and nurture yourself? It doesn’t have to be a substantial amount of time, perhaps just taking a few hours off from your merry-go-round life style.

The benefits will be significant ~

When you take the time to slow down and nurture yourself and your spirit, the benefits will be significant. Your productivity will increase, your relationships with others will improve, your family will be happier because you are happier, and you will feel calmer, healthier and refreshed.

As Dr. Phil McGraw says "We’re like bank accounts: If we only make withdraws (carpooling, working late, etc) we wind up emotionally and physically bankrupt. We all must make regular deposits to our minds, souls, and bodies. You must take time for you."

My challenge to you ~

Therefore, I offer you a challenge - to create 2 ways that you can slow down this week and make a deposit into YOUR personal "bank account." A few ideas include:

Explore your state without a map

Have a clambake on the beach

Learn to fish

Meditate by the moonlight

Play hide and seek with your children

Take an afternoon off and play golf or visit a museum with someone who inspires you

Drink a cup of iced tea under a shade tree

Swim in a lake

Take your spouse/loved one on a "mystery date" - surprise them with dinner at a special restaurant, a boat ride on the river, and dancing

"Don’t hurry, don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit. So be sure to stop and smell the flowers." Walter C. Hagen

Lori Woodhouse, MSW, Life Coach, is dedicated to helping men and women create balance, fulfillment, direction and success in their personal and professional lives. To sign up for Lori’s monthly newsletter:

To learn more about Life Coaching and Free Teleclasses:

Copyright 2005 Lori Woodhouse

Posted on Oct 21st, 2006

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” - John Dryden

1. Is It You … Or Is It “Them”?

Watch yourself closely on how YOU react to challenging and stressful situations each day. Experiment with, adjust and update your inner resources (Ahh, the old “habits”). Build up the fortress of your balanced being against anxiety and stress with new, better serving habits. This one is the hardest to do, yet it is the most effective and surprisingly, the least expensive in the line up of choices and … consequences.

2. Input Overload And The Feelings Of Overwhelm

Closely watch what is the most important for you in a situation. Only you can decide and set the rules of what the priorities in your life are. Focus on what you can control right now and move gently on from here. Consider setting aside some personal quiet time into your daily “mental flossing” routine. The habit of “quietude” is amazingly powerful.

3. Risk Of Feeling Fatigue - Reversal

Have you ever thought about this one? If you put the same amount of energy you devote to dealing with stress (negative) into the opposite direction (positive), what pleasant changes would you experience? Once you decide and change the attractor properties of your energies, you can actually vitalize them instead of running them empty most of the time.

4. The HARDER You Try …

Despite the common belief, the harder you try to do anything may bring you more of the hard and even harder. To fix this, assume a role of a persistent and flexible researcher who takes frequent power breaks to re-evaluate the progress on the issue. By practicing in this role frequently, you learn the vital steps of the softer, “luckier” go-getter.

5. The Magic of Determination

All the books in the world with tips and techniques, or all who have mastered that what you are seeking helping you, will be powerless and void unless you decide to grab all the help with – determination! Overcoming anxiety, stress and burnout will only be the beginning of the magic and delight awaiting you along your new way!

“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” - Nathaniel Emmons

Lu Smith co-authored (with Di) a unique book. Discover over 367 Master Techniques to outsmart stress effects on health. Receive a Free 7-part e-Course

Posted on Oct 21st, 2006

Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a journal or diary, is a proven method to relieve stress and improve well being. The expression achieved through writing in a journal on a regular basis, or during times of high stress, helps to clarify and focus what we are actually feeling and experiencing. Putting down on paper what we are frustrated about, worried and concerned with, helps us to begin to understand in a clearer, more concise manner, what we are going through. That understanding can help us to realize what actions we can then take to work through the stress.

Journaling on a regular basis about daily events, joys, and struggles alike, can actually help us to face our day, and solve our problems with less stress. When we record our days on paper, or on the computer, we are processing our feelings, fears and joys, as we are writing.

To help with the stress in our days we can create a routine and journaling system for ourselves. Ask yourself a daily morning question upon rising. This becomes a check into the day question, and writing the answer down, can be a great way to focus the day. For Example - "What am I going to do today that will support just me?" Or - "What am I going to do today at my work, (or with friends, or family), that is different than I have done before?" Another idea - "What one thing do I want to accomplish today that I have not had time to do?" We can ask the same question each day, or ask a new question.

We can also create a journal to record what we need to keep doing, stop doing, do less of, or more of. For example - "I need to stop playing old broken records from my past that no longer apply and no longer serve me. I am enough. I do not have to live in fear. We can journal on that topic alone, until it feels finished."

Another journaling idea is to define what is causing the stress: Whatever or whomever.

For example - "Bob really bugs me when he misses deadlines." Or - "I never have enough time to fit it all in, family, friends, work, fun." Or - "I am in way over my head on this project."

Next in your journal write about and define the why. "When Bob misses deadlines it makes me look bad. I can’t enjoy my weekends when Bob has a project due on Monday, because I keep worrying Bob won’t come through."

Then ask why again to those answers, and write them down. "I hate to look bad in front of my peers. It is embarrassing to me. I don’t like to be embarrassed. I don’t need/deserve that."

Then ask why again. Keep writing, then asking why to those answers. What can be found is the real reason(s) for the stress. After the reason(s) are revealed then processing the root of the stress is easier to address. Then journal about those feelings.

Journaling is something we can all give to ourselves. Find a quiet time in the day, and a quiet place to journal. Set the journal where you will see it every day. Using a notebook, a blank book, a favorite journal, or a computer, any of these all serve as outlets for expression of stress. Through journaling we use that outlet of expression to help us see, process and understand our stress. Through journaling the toll stress takes can be reduced or eliminated.

Copyright Doreene Clement All Rights Reserved

Doreene Clement, a cancer victor and author of The 5 Year Journal, is currently writing a new book, Blessed, about her life and her cancer experience. For more information 480.423.8095

Copyright 2005 OMDC, LLC All Rights Reserved

Feel free to pass this along to your friends. About Journaling,

Posted on Oct 20th, 2006

If you were to decide to go on a diet, you may decide as a first step to stop eating that delicious double fudge cake that you enjoy so much. An excellent decision for the goal you wish to achieve. However, you now have to resist the thought of that delicious double fudge cake. Resisting it will keep the cake on your mind. A problem.

Why would resisting a desire keep it on your mind? Here’s an illustration to make this clear. Stop and imagine for a moment that a stranger came up to you and gave you a device that can monitor one thought in your head. That thought is whether or not you are thinking about a ‘pink elephant’. (strange, I know.)

Then he says, “I will give you $1000 if you DON’T think of a pink elephant for exactly 24 hours and this device will let me know if you did or not.”

Suddenly, something that you may never have thought about before in your life. Namely, a pink elephant. Becomes ALL you can think about for the next 24 hours.

In other words, a mistake that many people make when attempting to manage stress is to – RESIST- what they don’t want! Resisting an idea focuses your mind on that idea like a crab holding on to its prey.

The Solution?

Focus instead on what you do want to achieve rather than what you want to resist.

Yes, those pink elephants can be hard to keep off your mind, unless you choose to focus instead on how beautiful the ancient ‘Bird of Paradise’ must be. Then create the image of the most beautiful bird you can imagine. What pink elephants?J

Being enthusiastic about a project naturally enables you to focus. But what can be done about jobs you are less excited about?.

The first thing to do when faced with an unpleasant, maybe even stressful, task is to change your point of view.

Everything has a positive aspect to it, so spend a few moments and look for that silver lining. To make an unpleasant job a little more palatable, build in a few treats along the way. When you find your thoughts starting to drift, remind yourself of the final reward at the end of a job well done.

Distractions are inevitable; the goal is to develop your ability to cope with a distraction and get back on track. When you notice you thoughts start to drift or you are interrupted, order your mind to STOP; then gently bring your mind back to where it should be. The key word here is gently, trying to force yourself to concentrate only increases resistance.

Allow specific times for your mind to wander or worry. With time set aside to worry or day-dream, stray thoughts are less likely to force themselves into your focus time. Making a note of worrisome thoughts and putting them aside for later will sometimes help.

Remember, your mind is an extremely powerful tool. It can be your worst enemy or best friend. How you choose to focus your mind is the key to handling those pink elephants.

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Posted on Oct 20th, 2006

Feeling stressed? Who isn’t!! In today’s society, feeling "stressed out," overwhelmed and exhausted is the norm. However, moderate day-to-day stress takes its toll on our minds and bodies. Our constant doing, over-working, running errands, rushing here and there, and care-taking can lead to anxiety, depression, sleep disorders/insomnia, high blood pressure and diabetes.

There is good news … reducing stress is in your control. According to Yoga Journal you can “change your situation, change your attitude, and take good care of yourself.” Let’s explore these options.

First, you can change your situation by taking action to:

*improve your job/career

*cut back on activities and obligations

*improve your relationships

*lose the weight you’ve been wanting to

*bring balance into your life

Life Coaching is one powerful avenue that produces action and results in your life. Through Life Coaching, you are able to identify and achieve your personal and professional goals, thus, enhancing the fulfillment, balance and happiness in your life.

Another way to take action, is to begin to journal. Journal about how you want to handle your situation, what the ideal outcome is for you, and what your desired goal is. Next, list all the steps that you need to take in order to reach your goal. You can’t change things unless you put your plans into action. Therefore, decide what 2 steps you will commit to taking in the next week. To give you extra motivation and accountability, tell 2 people about the 2 steps you plan to achieve.

Second, you can change your attitude beginning in this very moment:

*look at your challenge from the perspective of someone you admire(a teacher, mentor, best friend, Lassie). How would they handle it?

*choose to let go of "perfection" today! Ask your spouse for help with the laundry or with the grocery shopping, invite your children to help with house cleaning or weeding the gardens. These activities may not be completed "perfectly," but the benefits to you will be significant. Let go of the need to "do it all" this week.

*create and recite positive affirmations that begin to fill your mind, body and spirit with positive words and intentions (read Louise Hay’s book "You can Heal your Life" to learn about positive affirmations).

*focus on what’s right in your life and express gratitude for all of the beauty and abundance in your life. Start a "Gratitude Journal" and write a list of things you’re grateful for each day.

Finally, you can take good care of yourself: meditating, exercising, breathing, practicing Tai Chi or Qi Gong, laughing, painting, dancing, singing or gardening. In this precious moment you can choose to ease the stressful symptoms in your body and mind simply by committing to spending 15-30 minutes a day engaging in these nurturing activities. You are worth it!!

By changing your situation and attitude, and taking care of yourself on a regular basis, you will improve your mental and physical health, your relationships at work and home, and your ability to navigate through life’s challenges with grace and ease.

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." ~ William H. Murray

Lori Woodhouse, MSW, Life Coach, is dedicated to helping men and women create balance, fulfillment, direction and success in their personal and professional lives. To sign up for Lori’s monthly eZine:

To learn more about Life Coaching, Teleclasses, and e-programs:

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